my advanced reporting prof suggested that in order for us to understand other people, we should have a working knowledge of who we are and who we are not; what our privileges are and what we take for granted; what we are denied. i've taken this to heart. this is not to say these things are good or bad - though i feel lucky to be or not be some of them - just that they are my perspective and something i have to recognize when dealing with everyone else. i'd like to think i already do, but here's a timid reminder.

i am: 21 (drinking age), american, female, white, of western european descent, a college student at a state university, the oldest of three children, the daughter of a cancer victim, the sister of a cambodian refugee, a product of catholic schooling, a lifelong resident of the pacific northwest, larger than a size 10, employed, debt-free, being provided for, heterosexual, literate, of at least normal intelligence, bespectacled, urban-dwelling.

i am not: very young, very old, or middle aged, male, a member of a minority group, religious, uneducated, illiterate, an only child, an orphan, the child of divorced or otherwise separated parents, the product of public elementary and grade schools, from the southern U.S., midwest, southwest, northeast, Alaska, or Hawaii, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, or transgendered, in debt, skinny, very obese, unemployed, drug-addicted, disabled, rural-dwelling, very poor or very rich.

my privileges include: university education, family relations, computers, food, entertainment, transportation, travel, holding a job, driving, living away from parents, choice in romantic relationships, holding and expressing opinions, medicine and health, surely many other things.

what i take for granted: pretty much everything that's a privilege. :)

what i'm denied: the experience of others, ... i'd like to think most doors are, in fact, open to me should i like to walk through them, and for most practical purposes in my lifetime i think they are, but there are certainly some things i couldn't attain. just don't know what yet.

i'm not sure that this exercise is as helpful as i'd like. any suggestions?

we had a Serious Incident at work today. someone got arrested. it was quite the kerfluffle.

around 3:30, someone from downstairs delivered a new stack of refund slips and told us to throw out the old ones. i had no sooner taken the old ones and placed them on the desk when a woman came to the desk and said, "a man is masturbating to pornography at the back corner computer. could you please call the police?"

i was shocked. "umm... is that the procedure for this sort of thing, do you know?" i asked my equally experienced coworker. "uh, yeah, call the police." he then started racing around trying to find The Purple Binder of procedural information that we usually don't have to follow because nothing happens and/or the bossman is present to instruct us and take charge. bossman is on vacation. i called 9911, which wasn't right but it was the only number we had handy, so she was kind enough to connect me to the campus police. (at least i had the foresight to ask if this was the campus police number first.)

the woman's friend showed up and went to get a look at the guy, too. she confirmed his masturbatory status. my coworker also attempted but couldn't see the guy. i had them give me descriptions so i could tell the person on the phone with campus police. strangely, campus police don't seem to know a lot about the building i work in. granted, it's a confusing little maze of a building, but you'd think they might have somewhat more of a clue. i had to explain a lot about where and what, exactly, we were. the woman, fortunately, had a good sense of humor about the thing, and she told some stories about her other encounters with literal wackjobs in, say, safeway and the olive garden.

about 15 minutes later, two uniformed officers and a plainclothes guy entered the library. the patron who reported the incident went right up to them and told them what was up, and the female officer told her they'd need to question her in a few minutes and to please stick around. they went in, and five minutes later emerged with the guy in handcuffs. i could see his hands behind his back as he was lead out the doors, and i couldn't help but wonder, "which one?" and "bet that officer is happy to be wearing gloves." the male officer left with the suspect and the female officer talked to the patron and we exchanged some paperwork.

i made some remark about how we now have the illustrious job of being porn theater employees. later, my coworker valiantly offered to go 'clean' that machine. he got a big bucket and some latex gloves. someone was using it, although presumably not to jack off to porn.

anyway. it was strangely exciting and amusing for such a weird and creepy thing to happen at work today.

in much more lighthearted matters, jenny, her friend, and i were watching "star search" earlier and snarking heavily. it was very entertaining and sad. i have also done something to my computer and am unable to create a graph in gnumeric (a gnome spreadsheet application), which is irritating, but i no longer care.

listening: 764-hero - answers

having now watched a movie a day since sunday, i think it's fair to call myself a movieslut. chris never appreciated it when i called him that, but it really was endearing.

"love liza" was depressing. chris had lauren join us, and i don't think she knew what to expect. but it was depressing. and it's impossible to glamourize gas huffing, but even if you were gonna try, philip seymour hoffman would not be the actor to do it. the music was cool, though. jim o'rourke and whatnot.

did a double-take for "confessions of a dangerous mind" monday afternoon with jana, chris, and lauren. on the walk to the theater, jana told me she didn't think lauren would like the movie, but had inadvertantly invited her anyway. i was worried that i was the impetus for her seeing two movies now that she probably didn't enjoy much, but i don't know. anyway, the movie was *still* a hell of a lot of fun the second time around. i wanted to force kevin to see it, but he refuses, saying that he doesn't want to support people who say they're former cia assassins or something. which makes no sense to me, but whatever. i won't see it in the theater again, so my harping will have to wait until it comes out on dvd (and i perhaps buy it).

yesterday i went to kevin's and saw "the pink panther strikes again." this is the third pink panther/inspector clousseau movie, i think. kevin loves these things. they are amusing, i'll admit, though definitely not my favorite thing ever. i am gaining an appreciation for peter sellers.

tonight was student night at the grand illusion, so i saw "lolita" (the kubrick version from nabokov's script) for $4.50. i saw it on video once in high school, on my tiny inherited tv, but wow. it was funny this time, and i also noticed peter sellers more and caught way more jokes. i didn't even remember the jokes from before. chris and lauren were also in attendance. i don't know why that is beginning to make me nervous, but it does. they were also on the bus when i went to ballard yesterday, which was especially odd. HMM. ;)

i walked home after 11pm, which didn't used to bother me, but i only saw males around and it was slightly weirding me out. as i approached home, it occurred to me that if i were attacked and killed mere yards from my home, i'd like my last words (that the neighbors could hear) to be "kitty genovese." i am a sick little psych major.

i'm finally cracking down on my com&envir project. i've made a list of the top three pop songs from every year since 1950 (according to top40.about.com) and am starting to go through lyrics to assign them an 'attitude' from the kellert typology. it's kind of interesting, although i'm so sad at the songs i have to exclude. my objective is to track if and how attitudes about the environment as conveyed in pop music have changed over the years. there is an assertion in the book we're reading now, bill mckibben's "the age of missing information," that music has gotten increasingly meaningless in recent years. my working philosophy is that, at least at the tops of the pops, it hasn't. it's always been insipid. i could be wrong, though. i can't really go through this project assigning a value judgment like that, whether or not the lyrics are 'insipid' in terms of the environment. i don't think it'd go over well.

i feel the need to listen to john lennon now. why did paul mccartney's post-beatles projects seem to chart higher than john lennon's, anyway? i mean, wings? say what you will about yoko ono, at least she was interesting.

even if you think she should be killed for the song "kiss kiss kiss." heheh. seriously. i don't hate that song. someone once told me that was so wrong. i'll refrain from discrediting that person since i don't honestly care, but it was an amusing point at the time.

howdy. haven't updated in awhile because...well, no excuses, time for whatever. i'm physically tired and sore from marching for peace and justice yesterday. yup, it was productive. well, not really, but it was very impressive and cool. all kinds of people, so many of them, such a long walk to the INS, so many full buses, taxis are expensive and ironic. do i really have anything to say? no. just, i have now officially protested war, and it was cool, but i am dead from it.

my mom and brother and brother's girlfriend are spending a week up in victoria in a cottage. mom got a great rate for the week, but she was a little worried about being holed up in a house in another country with the 15-year-old old people. i don't blame her. that would be weird. i'm sure they will all find peace and love and harmony and not drive each other insane, right?

i am so fucking tired. i woke up this morning and did two giant loads of laundry, took out trash and recycling, cleaned my bathroom, washed my dishes, and went grocery shopping. i have been eating very badly lately and i think it's starting to show (i.e., i am gaining weight). i'm trying to rectify the situation by not being so depressed (hah) and also eating more healthfully. the ben & jerry's pint of *frozen yogurt* half baked didn't help, but hey. it's gone, i didn't buy any more, and my snacks for the week are nori rice crackers and raisins and apples.

i need coffee superbad at the moment. you can tell because i prepared everything for the coffee and forgot to turn the burner on at least 15 minutes ago. had the little funnel sitting atop the pot with the filter and some grounds in it, filled the teapot with water, and...nothing. yeesh. so, soon i'll be caffeinated, and life will be a bit better.

v-day was spent at work, then eating vegan wraps from this place on 41st and brooklyn that's run by a jamaican-american family and is fantastic. it's greasy and spicy and just yum. i got the one called "the evil one," which contained thinly-sliced seitan steak--and lemme tell ya, i love seitan--and other things of much goodness, as well as "the truth," which is macaroni and "yease" (i have no idea what that is). i have meant to try that dish since i learned of its existence and man. it was tasty stuff. mm mm. of course we didn't spend all night eating wraps, but we did stay in, for various reasons.

soon it will be time to view "love liza" with friends. ahh, depressing movies. wonder if it'll make me cry. i also have plans to see "confessions of a dangerous mind" again tomorrow with jana, who hasn't seen it yet. that movie was way fun.

and, again: i am so tired.