i haven't done anything destructive to my fingernails for about five days. that was when i put on a coat of Sally Hansen Hard as Nails, followed by a coat of some glossy matte maroon-colored wet'n'wild. this combination has the effective tendency of preventing me from biting my nails, at least until the colored polish chips off too much.
i won't let them get much longer than they are, though. my nails are naturally crappy, thin, and, at least as evidenced by my mother and sister, both of whom are similarly affected, will grow warbly and possibly up-curving (!) if they get much past the "comfortable guitar-playing" length. besides, you know, that length is much more practical for things. it keeps typing simple and, you never know, i might take up the guitar again. or, uh, other, more intimate things, because bleeding is bad.
my nails are, i think, the only part of my anatomy to which i semi-regularly apply colorful cosmetics. i have a few tubes of lipstick that get used occasionally on a lark, but i only obsess over my nails. even then, it's only when i'm not on the 'out' phase of nail growth. it really is a cycle, you see: bite nails down, decide they're fucking ugly, trim neatly and file, apply clear polish, allow to grow for a week, apply colored polish, enjoy, trim occasionally to maintain appropriate length, nails decide they are tired of polish, allow to wear off, bite nails again. lather, rinse, repeat.
so, yeah, i was at the facial care aisle of shopko today and i felt very unfeminine because i use approximately one product in that aisle out of a hundred. i've never used a biore nose strip, though they look disgustingly fascinating. i don't know what you're supposed to use an astringent for. i don't apply strange gels to my t-area or my g-spot or whatever else they make strange gels for. i use the st. ive's apricot scrub on my face once or twice a week. that's it. and i have pretty nice skin. then i went to downtown olympia and into a couple vintage/used clothing shops and felt completely unhip, which is also puzzling.
on a totally unrelated note, why the hell would mountain dew use a
crouching tiger, hidden dragon takeoff to advertise? the fucking thing has "flying" fight scenes and subtitles and everything. it's ludicrious. almost as annoying as the ones for 1-800-collect with carrot top. what a fuckhead.