all around me exist lunatics. this city, after midnight, is full of them. as i get on my bus bound for home (and chris on his), a fair young man wearing a gray hat turns to me and grins as if to say, "can you fucking believe this!" i can only imagine what ridiculously forgettable incident i have only just now not even noticed in my complete exhaustion.

the two black guys sitting in a seat to my right are rapping, "wu tang ain't nothing to fuck with!" later, they discuss anime they appreciate.

i have spent the last day-plus, including technical sleep cycles, with chris. i had intended only to visit, then do something else this afternoon and evening, as separate events, but fate had something else in store, apparently. when we took the buses out to chris' house in northwest seattle, the ground was dry, the sun was out, and the air was chilly. we ate our thai food, watched a movie, and such, and around 11pm finally decided it was time for me to catch a bus to catch another bus to get home at a far too late hour, but home is still home. his roommates, who were sitting in the living room with cheap beers and late-night cable television, laughed, "it snowed. there's like five inches on the ground. i wouldn't drive in that shit." we opened the door, and, behold: five inches on the ground of powdery white snow. the roads seemed clear enough, but we waited for quite awhile and no bus was to be seen. determining an alternate mode of transportation to be inaccessible (see: aforementioned cheap beer and tv), i called christine and told her i was going to be crashing there for the night. good roommates like to know these things. so i did what i did. as we can say, that i crashed there in the first place was completely innocent; anything else, maybe not so much so.

the morning buses were also running rather late, so chris ended up missing his class entirely. he attended one of my lectures with me, we got food, we drank coffee, we were dead fucking tired. this evening, i got to meet a few of his friends and see memento again, which was good, except for the desperately wanting to be unconscious for twelve straight hours urge that wracked my body every once in awhile.

i'm happy and tired, long story short.

on my short walk from the bus to my apartment, i saw a woman pouring water from a container--it looked maybe like a suitcase--into the bushes outside terry-lander. half a block later, i heard the sounds of rushing water. the whole thing amused me so suddenly and deeply that tears nearly welled in my eyes.

but for as happy and tired as i'm feeling right now, i can't help but feel a little guilty... for repeating stories, repeating jokes, sharing things from my past that were shared with another, all for the sake of my own advancement or something. i can't substantiate this; it is nonsensical. the past is never dead, but sometimes we still must mourn it to remind ourselves that we are still alive.

listening: the verve - so it goes

yippy skippy for completed review sheets that actually felt like review and not just learning it all for the first time! heh.

so it was snowing earlier, or rather, the wind was blustering about some thousands of stray snowflakes in a whimsical fashion. well, i'm sure i wouldn't have found it so whimsical had i been out walking in it, but no, i was merely watching from my nice, warm, indoor vantage point. anyway, now the clouds are clearing and i can see blue sky. i'm sure it's just as cold and probably just as windy, but still. oh, how i would have enjoyed a stroll to class in the flurries.

christine just emerged from her room, proclaiming, "MAWWAIGE!" she continued the priest's speech until apparently reaching the freezer, which she opened and something fell on her, causing her to yell, "ack!" i love christine. i laughed so hard, and she called, "what's so funny?" "you are!" "oh."

she just came in here to explain, in fact. "do you know what bwings us together today?" she said she gets it stuck in her head like a song. hehe.

i ordered unwound's leaves turn inside you as a 2lp set from kill rock stars last week. yesterday, i received a package from them in the mail, which contained the right album, but the wrong format. oddly enough, cd format is $1 more expensive than lp, so i thought it was odd. i emailed them, attaching a copy of my confirmation email stating i had, indeed, ordered the lps, to report the problem, and have not heard back yet. hm. i'm debating whether or not to just open the cd so i can hear it, at least.

speaking of unresponsiveness, i hope dr. richards emails me soon so i can get an addcode for 499. i would like to be sure i am registered for all my classes before going to san jose. i think that's fair. i have done what i needed to do, i think. anyway.

maybe i should go do a little music-listening before heading off to examland, followed by pretending-it's-fridayland, which should involve good company, coffee, and videos.

by the way. day three of waking up at 5:30. maybe i'm getting used to it. stupid body.

ooooh, i'm bad. skipping morning classes in favor of studying for my psych midterm. very bad.

and my breakfast bread has started to go moldy. dammit. i -really- need to go grocery shopping. maybe tomorrow or saturday. i can probably hold out until then.

lately i am finding there is not much i can say to the blog. hrm. i am online way too much.

oh! n00n quotes, on which aja and i (and maybe james, i think) post things we find amusing. sometimes twice. i take on a lot of quote page endeavors.

listening: the avalanches - radio

i should really be studying for my psych midterm tomorrow. i won't be prepared if i don't, and if i'm prepared, i will kick its ass, because psych is cool. i am good at psych! i should excel at the tests! right? right.

but tonight, the day is long and my eyes are tired and aja is telling me to listen to weezer and my brain is thinking of webley.

and um. i'm sortadating someone. his name is chris, and he may or may not be reading this. anyway. hee.

listening: weezer - my name is jonas

sleep eludes me lately. not completely, but enough that i feel like i have way too much time on my hands that is spent tossing and turning in bed, desperately (and silently) pleading with my brain to shut the hell up and let me sleep already, followed, approximately six hours later at best, by pleading with it to let me *return* to sleepyland, all to no avail.

outside my window, i can see: the light in the kitchen of an apartment on the fourth floor across the way. the walls of my building jutting out on either side of my window. branches of a willowy tree mostly hidden behind the wall to my left whipping about in the gusts of wind. apparently endless gray clouds. all of this is very blurry, since i am not wearing my glasses.

i met a guy yesterday. we had fun. shall have to hang out again, most definitely. i don't know what else to say about that; it was cool.

i am really hungry.

i think some leaves just blew off the tree. hehe.

wtf. i think it's shower time. nothing like the morning to make me feel grody.

listening: um, i'm not awake enough for music. i know that's weird for me.

normally, i'm an album-listener. i like to hear a record in order and all the way through. sometimes i will pick out single tracks to hear because they're stuck in my head or whatever, but usually, it's all about the whole album. i like albums.

but once in awhile, i get the urge to mix it up a bit. i don't do things like put *every* mp3 on my drive on shuffle; some things just don't belong there (for example, a lot of pink floyd should not be taken out of context, in my opinion), but i do collect a large number of single mp3s that i often forget to hear more than once because i'm so focused on the albums. right now is one of those times.

so far this evening, i have heard ac/dc's "tnt," cibo matto's cover of "about a girl" followed by grandmaster flash's "the message," and a large number of beatles' tracks. i heard nomeansno's "cats, sex, and nazis" followed by green jelly's "super elastic." david bowie's "magic dance" from the labyrinth soundtrack came up and made me bop so much that i was happy for no real reason. brent spiner's version of "it's a sin (to tell a lie)" and vera lynn's "we'll meet again" played. recently was jason webley's "aardvark song," recorded live at the halloween show at the pearl in 2000 (which i was at), the first night he died... there is so much great music. i love music.

listening: kitty lester - love letters

oh, wow. thanks, google, for giving me a reason to scour the romance novel section of goodwill!

THE BRIDAL VEIL
Alexis Harrington
ISBN: 0-312-97954-1
Cover Price $6.50
Bookaholics $5.52

Emily Cannon is not the mail-order bride Luke Becker expected : plain and tall, Emily has taken her sister's place as Luke's bride. Arriving in Oregon with nothing but the gown and veil her sister had intended to wear, Emily has nowhere to go. But Luke needs a mother for his 11-year-old daughter, and despite his anger, he can't turn this proud, vulnerable woman away.

more info on book here. hehehe.

too bad it doesn't sound like it has any really bad bodice-ripper passages, but i could be wrong. vanity searches are fun.

listening: built to spill - kicked it in the sun

today isn't really warm enough to wear sandals, but i don't care. i went jacketless and sockless to and from class this morning, which totaled only about an hour and ten minutes of my time since today was exam day. stupid, stupid exam with questions i'm sure i answered incorrectly.

the exam was on, among other, less childish things to mention, poop and pee, which, as anyone who visits the harem often enough to not find us completely weird knows, are two of my favorite things ever. so that was mildly distracting, and then i get to the following question which completely blows me away with its convolutedness (and not distal or proximal convoluted tubuleness, either): which of the following will cause you to breathing rate to slow? i seriously had to ponder that for a few minutes. i knew what she was trying to say, but the grammar/clarity error was so glaring that i couldn't even think beyond it for a moment.

(uh, yes, that link up there does go to my old journal. why, no, the graphics *don't* load, thankyouverymuch happyisdead.)

the exam was stressing me out a little, which is weird for me, since normally exams don't. i just want to get them done. then i started remembering this psych research that a situation where you're scared or nervous (physiological arousal) you can sometimes misattribute the arousal to someone you find attractive who happens to interact with you during this state of fear. i wasn't feeling it for any of my classmates, just wondering if that does happen to me. i get nervous around new people.

sometimes i never want the song to end. sometimes it never goes away.

listening: the gossip - sweet baby

i should be studying, but you know. i'm too braindead for analytical thought about how the body functions. i'd much rather probe my own mind.

becky said i should eat the tabouli with milk. this was after i told her that, no, i didn't think she and her mother were insane. she already had me locked into the decision about her sanity without giving me all the facts. i should know by now.

i stayed up until 1:30 (unheard of!) and awoke at 7:30 (stupid, stupid body). i don't know why. i was talking to people online. i guess that counts as a reason to stay awake. (hm, sidenote, but if i had phrased that "reason to stay up[period], with up being a colloquial synonym for "awake," would it still have been breaking the rule that sentences mustn't end with a preposition?) i'm feeling a little nervous lately, and that makes me self-conscious. feeling self-conscious makes me bite my nails more, which i then become increasingly aware is something rather unattractive that i should avoid doing. i've quit biting my nails for awhile before, but it never sticks for longer than a few weeks. also, my face is breaking out a little lately, which is unusual for me. and i am so, so sleepy.

i cringe when i end sentences with prepositions. it's like stepping on a crack (break your mother's back).

dinner and a movie with jen last night was fun. she hadn't seen amelie yet, so we bused over to the egyptian for that. she, of course, enjoyed it thoroughly. as did i for my second time around. i don't know anyone who *didn't* enjoy that movie. my mother asked me if i caught more things this time, though, because she said she felt like she missed a lot of it. i don't think i did, but maybe i am just more used to the filmmaker's style (also enjoyed delicatessen and city of lost children) and/or subtitles. it does kind of have a frantic look to it--like baz luhrmann without making you actually dizzy--that makes you feel like you must be missing something, but you still get the net effect anyway.

in other news, my colored pencils suck because they need sharpening and the only sharpener at my disposal sucks so bad i don't even want to try it. well, i guess that's technically the sharpener sucking and not my pencils, but they must have some fault here. i prefer blaming inanimate objects whenever possible, even when not seriously so.

sososo sleepy! whee.

apparently, blackening red bell peppers produces the aroma of marijuana. just a tip!

end disjointed communique.