"funny, you don't SEEM like a psych major."
"ohh, yes? tell me, do you have dreams about cigars? would you like to talk about your mother?"

harem parties are always fun. i think they're dancing to loud irish music now. i haven't the energy to join them, but it sounds fun.

it's sad, but i am presently more entertained by irc. i don't know what that says about me as a person. there's a fucking 12 year old on there being stupid and confused. as usual. he's entertaining, like a potato bug.

people are interesting. heh.

maybe i will write more about them later. but for now, i'll just be entertained.

greg never showed up at work today. hrm. brian was upset that i didn't have any heads on spears at the desk or anything.

well. this entry sucks! i'm sorry. i will try to write more later. really.

uhm, it's snowing again. it hasn't started sticking yet, but there are bucketloads of snow escaping the sky for the warmer climates of the earth below. we have the most fucked up weather here. i swear to god, february was like summer, and now...it's snowing for the second time this month, and the month is young.

even my new sweatshirt will not be enough to brave this chill, i'm sure. there will be sweater layers galore. and boots. oh, the boots i shall wear. and a scarf and mittens. yay for winter clothes.

what...the fuck? i ask again.

and why do i always miss the malaysians when they are on #n00n?! sadness.

i think i will just sit here and watch the snow until otherwise moved to shower and go to work.

white cheddar mac and cheese, made with just milk and powder, no margarine, and with frozen peas, is best after an hour of refrigeration. it is even better if you have been desiring it all during your one-hour class.

i am such a snob about the food i eat most of the time that it comforts me, on some level, to truly enjoy mac and cheese. even though i am a snob about that, too--it has to be trader joe's "not just for kids!" white cheddar mac and cheese, made with nonfat milk and frozen peas. like i said above. kraft dinner is ass (sorry, becky, even muenster cannot save it). besides, uh, it kills the rainforest because it's owned by a tobacco company. or something. at least part of that sentence is true.

but yeah. the best. i am full of mac and cheese love today. and, not to bastardize *really* old (and terrible) jarvis cocker/pulp, i love love!

teehee. 'it.' that was some funny shit, yo. i wonder if i still have that tape about. too bad countdown doesn't have that song, because it's the AWESOMEST. i looked around and then i found that i love love! that and "my lighthouse." bahahahaha.

hi, sorry. you guys don't listen to pulp, i'm sure. if you did, you probably didn't ever hear their first album. consider yourself lucky.

it's strange how some bands are considered way better in their early years, while others are so embarassed of their older work that it's pretty much suppressed from the fans. i wonder what the difference in stylistic development is.

i'm starting to get a little excited about going home for a couple days. last time i was home, it was for only about 24 hours, and i was sick. this time, i will get to see people--maybe even meet becky's boyfriend, shawn!--and probably go to some good restaurants with my mom. i don't know what all i will do; i'm just glad i get time to do it for once. and then, of course, california. which is, you know. well, i don't want to say "awesomest" because i've already used that nonsense word once in this entry, and overuse of nonsense words wears out their welcome, but that's pretty much what it will be. i am totally jazzed.

for now, however, i have chores, studying, a party, people here, etc. with which to contend before all the happyfunstuff can take place. hey, it's a life.

i think i'm gonna go see what time is it there? tonight after running a couple quick errands after my last class of the quarter. it looks like the kind of movie i will enjoy deeply and somewhat inexplicably, but to which i would be more than hesitant to drag anyone else to see because it is likely to bore their pants off. being pantsless in a theater is just awkward.

but now, the entry will be timestamped, it's afternoon, the sky is gray and cloudy, and i am eating carrots. it's a start. time to move the record player into my room to prevent its destruction by crazy party guests.

listening: jimi hendrix experience - gypsy eyes

this is turning into the blog of emily's sleep patterns.

i got a full night of sleep last night! it's funny to say that considering the vast majority of the sleep took place in what is technically considered "morning." so it goes.

spent most of yesterday with chris. we had fun not really doing anything spectacular. i always want to say i do spectacularly fabulous things, but i don't really, and they are usually just as much fun, if not more, as the spectacular-sounding things i have done. we went to the market for lunch and wandering--mm, crepes; just say no to donuts!--thought i had to tell him to not let me go into any stores selling books or records. this seriously limited our ability to waste a lot of time there, but i wasted a little cash on egg shakers and a little thing for aja (she must wait until CALIFORNIA!@# to have its exact dimensions revealed) anyway. after my class, we wated for about half an hour for a bus to northgate, then got off at the transit center instead of the park and ride and trekked through a whole floor of the mall and across a busy parking lot and street to get to target, which was our final destination. i got a new backpack for $10, a dark blue hooded sweatshirt for $20ish, and a thing to hold key rings more easily (uh, yeah, cos i did finally get my lab keys yesterday, kthx). chris got a tarp and a tent. i do not envy him his massive amount of bus-riding while holding a big box of tent.

we came back here, since getting to chris' place from northgate was awkward at best and i had food for dinner at my house, and hung out with roommates for a bit before retreating to my room to do...things that take place in my room. happy things. with closed doors.

i do so like this guy. :)

he might come over sunday night for six feet under, but it's unlikely we will see much of each other until towards the end of spring break after that, considering he is leaving the country and all. that's ok. i'm off to have spectacular times with the beautiful people who will be in california when i am. hee.

i should really get dressed and stuff for my last day of class now. last day!@#

listening: man... or astroman? - dni

i can't stand staying in bed when i wake up, especially if it's early and i want to sleep more, but can't. *sigh* i woke up before 6am again. i hate this. i'm gonna be tired later today. hell, i'll probably be tired by 7am, but i can't sleep then, nooo.

my roommates are always up late, but i am in bed around 11, due to my abundance of 8:30 class. they leave on the lights in the common areas. this, too, drives me nuts. maybe next quarter i'll be able to hang out more, depending on how my crazy schedule works itself out. my boss is still working on the work schedule--though i fully expect my monday and wednesday afternoons to be spent in the microlab--and dr. richards, while, uh, complimenting me on my promptness in giving her schedule information, still doesn't know when the one required weekly meeting will be for her lab. i'm just impatient; everything will be ok. at least i'm *registered* for the class.

i still need to get a key, though. i went in on tuesday with my necessary forms, only to discover i needed to pay a $25 fee (or deposit, i am not sure if i get it back or not) for the privilege of holding lab keys, and i hadn't brought my checkbook. i returned yesterday, check in hand, only to learn that the person responsible for handling checks was, for one, not in the business office yesterday, and, two, was out to lunch, anyway, so could i come back another time. jesus, they just want to get me overly familiar with guthrie or something. fair is fair, i suppose; i am a psych major, i should know how the office works, right? heh.

i am just so glad that my paper is written, though i am a little worried that it won't meet the lofty standards for excellence. it turned out to be kind of a well-organized rant without much in the way of backstory or refuting evidence or anything truly analytical like that. i did make a really cool social psych theory connection, though--i hypothesized that part of america's reason for growing apathetic was a kind of negative foot-in-the-door phenomenon. foot-in-the-door usually refers to a method of persuading people by asking them for a small thing, then a big one; i applied this to putnam's evidence that americans now shopped at all these homogeneous corporate stores in a way that, while it may not be entirely correct in keeping with the actual idea in psych (also used in marketing, obviously), explains why this rise of corporate stores over mom-and-pop local businesses would contribute to voter apathy, which is something that baffled putnam. i think that, by giving americans fewer options in little things like shopping decisions, we're taking away that foot in the door, so to speak, that encourages us to make bigger decisions like who to elect as president. if that makes any sense at all, and i thought it did, and i was rather pleased with myself for thinking it up in the first place. hee. i just hope it actually comes across in the paper as making sense and, if it does, that my TA buys it enough to mark up the big ol' 3.3 or better. [good grade arbitrarily chosen based on past performance in that class.]

whatever, i'm probably insane, anyway. he probably won't think i explained enough about my other social psych invasion of the individualistic vs. collectivistic culture theories, either. and i didn't stick to my ranty ideas in the introduction. whaaaaaaaaatever.

only two more days of class, woo!

i talked to my old friend rachel last night. we talk every few days now, i think. i haven't seen her in probably years, though. she is probably the non-family person that i've known the longest while still talking to occasionally, though. we have been friends since fifth grade, and last night was the first time we discussed sex in any detail. she also just found out that she has an ovarian cyst the size of a golf ball. gah.

and now it's time to say goodbye...in favor of the liquid environment of my shower.

listening: sonic youth - bone

what the donkeys, meesh. i haven't had tofu in a long time. you don't ask me what i'm eating often enough.

i can't use aja's phrasing properly. what the donkeys is not very good. sigh.

ok, so... paperofdoom is over! yaaaaaaaay! and i got paid to work an extra two and a half hours while i finished it! thank you, aleks! well, ok, i haven't been paid for it *yet,* but in the future i will receive a paycheck that reflects my extra work hours.

i am completely and totally brain dead today. you have no idea. i don't know how i squeezed out a paper that made any sense at all. maybe it doesn't.

i have no idea what's going on in the world. i was magically insulated for some time. time has just been weird, i guess. it's...what...wednesday? yeah. i have two more days of class. wooooo.

tomorrow i finally get to see chris again. yay! he's going away for the weekend, then there are mad finals and then everyone's going away again, me to olympia and san jose, him to mexico, other people to their respective destinations. anna and josie are off to london. but man, i start seeing a guy, and we don't really get to *see* each other much because life is just ridiculously hectic and buses are evil. i don't trust any transit that involves wheels; i want to walk everywhere. yeah. so. seeing the person you are seeing is generally a good thing, so i'm looking forward to that.

the harem's throwing a goodbye party on saturday. that should be fun, but sad. i haven't been talking to my roommates enough lately. my roommates are really awesome people to live with, y'all. we're tight. and things are going to change, and i have just been withdrawing. random insomnia + dating a new guy + end of quarter crap + working will do that, i guess.

i really enjoy walking. monday night, anna, josie, and i drove to the seven gables theater, which isn't very far from here at all, to see gosford park (which i enjoyed, by the way, though i was distracted), but i decided to walk home. it felt good to walk, even though it was raining--not very hard--and the wind was gusting about. i wore my long black coat, which is desperately in need of repair, which is more fun in the wind, anyway. i really wanted to go to the park a block west of the theater instead--they have swings there. mm, swings. swinging until the sun has gone down and the air is too cold, talking the whole time, leaning back in your seat and thinking if your hair were down, how it would drag in the gravel.

maybe later i'll have more to say, but for now, i'm just tired.

you were right when you said all that glitters isn't gold.

listening: built to spill - temporarily blind

"do you have any jaws?"
"hm, yeah.. i've never heard them called that before; i'm surprised i knew what you meant!"
"yeah, well, staple remover sounds so..."
"formal and stuffy?"
"yeah."
--two guys asking for help at the desk and i

back to the paper! i'm feeling lucky.

aww, i love you guys for responding below. :)

ellie: glad i could keep someone interested who doesn't even know me!

meesh: i love you! but where did you get the idea that i eat a lot of tofu?!

becky: and thank you for that.

chris: pssh, not corrupting the blog with comments. actually, might make it more interesting. heh. but yeah, you are a character, all right.

mike: nono, you're a vigilante. there's a difference...

aja: you're not a nutjob. and we're going to california!@$#

sorry for the lack of an actual update; i am in the middle of being distracted from writing a paper due on thursday that is nowhere near being written.

listening: sonic youth - eric's trip

hey, i have a question!

who are you people? who is reading this thing? do you love me or something? are you just nuts?

leave a goddamned comment! or even one that has the lord's approval, i don't care.

listening: 20 minute loop - hell in a handbasket

yesterday was a good day as soon as work was over. i think i was in stage two sleep the whole time i was at work, never really quite feeling conscious. it was really pathetic. i hadn't gotten a good night of sleep in almost a week.

when i came home, though, the weather was actually pretty nice, and christine bated me to take a walk to gasworks, which was *lovely.* as soon as i got back, i emailed graylan and we agreed to meet up for dinner at pepe's. on my way out, i ran into lindsay, who was on her way to the harem. i got her to come with us. it was quite enjoyable. we got to pepe's just before closing. i got through an amazingly filling 2/3 of my burrito before giving up completely. i took the rest out of the restaurant in a styrofoam box, where i was promptly asked if i could spare any leftovers by one of the ave rats. "sure," i said. lindsay said that was nice of me; i figured it probably wouldn't be quite yummy the day after, anyway. lettuce gets limp if you try to heat it; sour cream dies. so it was no loss to me, but it did kind of feel good. i never give them change, but food? that's legitimate enough, i guess.

at home once more, the harem gathered to give josie her birthday present--a gift certificate to r.e.i.--and dance around while the beatles' "birthday" played on my turntable. then we discussed our upcoming potluck/goodbye party for josie and anna on saturday. at 9, i left the room to watch the only show i currently make sure to watch, six feet under. mm. tv.

so i actually slept a good eight hours last night, and now i'm perfectly awake. it's wonderful, this consciousness thing.

the only thing is that now i need to instate a new rule for the records, that being that if you're going to listen to my records, you need to actually put them back in the sleeves--rather than letting them lay carelessly on their cases on the floor where they come dangerously close the the dirty floor!--when you're done! or i will be sad! they are my records! *forced smile*

i rather enjoy listening to hiphop... it just makes me feel so... white.

listening: a tribe called quest - show business

sunday morning, the washers are all full. usually i can get in there right away, but this morning, apparently, i missed the gold rush.

i'm tired but awake; i should go brush my teeth. pj harvey singing with thom yorke just finished coming out of my crappy computer speakers. it's a lovely duet, because they're both such strong singers, but thom sings with a falsetto and sounds higher than pj. my typing ability is shot.

chris and i tried to go see the gossip and some other bands last night at a theater in the international district. it was a long bus ride, and when we got there, a small crowd of black-clad indie kids of all ages was congregated outside. we tried to go inside, only to discover it was sold out. if we wanted to wait around on the off-chance some people would leave in an hour, allowing us the privilege of paying the full $7 to see half a show after standing in the cold for another hour. no thanks. chris suggested to bus back to the u district and see scratch, which is exactly what we did. he had to spot me $1.25, though, since i only brought the essential $7 cash for the show.

i could write a lot more, and feel like putting the words down somewhere, but it isn't stuff that belongs on a blog. maybe in a novel, under the guise of fiction, years after the fact, and with the benefit of editing, but not in informal spamming to blogger. kinda sucks for you! and for me...much easier to have writing all in one place, it seems.

time to go get conscious.

listening: pj harvey - this is love