posting something i wrote last saturday, while in an airplane bound for san jose.

the moment i become airborne is subtle--something in the whirring changes so slightly just before i see the ground at an angle. it's an exhilerating moment; i gaze excitedly out the small portal and anticipate the shrinking world below, too soon obscured by clouds.

though my window is dirty, i can make out the smudges of sailboats on the sunny sound, trailed by glittering waves caught in the sun's glare. the sun also leaves its mark on the water, glimmering patterns that resemble parchment or canvas, set against the deep reflected blue.

to the east lie the cascades. for only a few moments can i gaze on these purple mountain majesties before the plane turns to adjust course. from this turning angle, everything sits at angles the human body, regularly quite perpendicular to the earth, was never designed to see.

in a matter of minutes, we are already crossing over tacoma. the water is idyllic, set against the organized chaos of the hundreds of tacoma neighborhoods, to which the glare also lends sparkle on the many parked cars.

even sooner, neighborhoods and streets and even highways are too small to make out, anyway, even if they weren't obscured by clouds.

for what seems like endless ages, clouds of every persuasion stretch across my view, and beyond our dusty blue dome of an atmosphere, i can already see the half-moon, translucent in daylight.

already i can tell i will have quite a headache when we come down. besides already being irritable and weaned off the daily dose of caffiene, the temperature inside the plane is unbearably warm, despite outside temperatures cold enough to doodle frost on my window. the air nozzle is but a small consolation--i am wishing to death i still had a functioning cd player and could therefor listen to the music of my choice, maybe nap, instead of the din of the plane and its passengers cushioning my eyes in dryness and my lower back in twisted soreness.

rivers and farmland snake below, dotted by the occasional puffy white clouds. the others have gathered to the east.

i'm sitting here at work, reading pr0n--chocolate pr0n.

i feel so dirty.

my legs are still re-learning the art of walking with a purpose. i spend a single week away from the absolute necessity of walking everywhere i need to go, and all of a sudden, my legs have forgotten how it's done.

yesterday, i worked from 7am to 2pm. it was all kinds of excitement. a bunch of printer stuff went nuts at the same time, and my boss and i chatted some. he's a crazy guy. interesting and cool, but crazy. well, nerdy-cool. he meditates while watching golf on tv. that cracked me up for the whole day. now it's 10am and i'm at work again, only this time until 6pm, which sucks, because that's the whole day. opening to closing. no one else is coming in. all i have to look forward to is my lunch (oooh, i packed a good lunch) and the eventuality of going home. maybe, after i go home, i will leave home again and go do something fun with people! but maybe not. a girl can dream, can't she?

i ended up not going to see unwound last night. i was completely exhausted and chris was sick, so going to a theater in a somewhat unfamiliar neighborhood (and one in which i don't feel especially good about visiting alone at night, call it paranoia) and staying until fairly late didn't sound like a good idea. instead, i moved stuff around my room so i could connect my turntable/receiver to the computer and not need to use my shitty computer speakers anymore. it is so sweet. it makes me want to die now, happy and young, just listening to music in my room. it's loud, though; i am sure i will drive my roommates nuts. later, christine came home (yay!) and we made quesadillas and talked. we also took a walk to gasworks and caught a couple just finishing up an ill-advised skinny dip. the guy said something to the effect of, "my balls were freezing off!" haha, well, thank you for that visual, but, um, duh? christine went to bed early and i think i crashed around 11.

then i slept. oh, how i slept. to red stars theory's ...and sleep came slowly on my stereo. mm. but i had this crazy dream.

there was all this stuff on the news about the streets of korea being strewn with blood and poisons. this was not the big issue, though; the real problem was that this huge mess prevented the fancy food carts from safely arriving at the homes of the wealthy all around the country. i am not sure if it was implied in the dream or by my own higher reasoning after i woke up, but obviously, this was pretty fucked. the american military was sending special teams over there to clean it up, and my boyfriend--who is not actually in the military; i am not entirely positive the guy in the dream was chris, anyway--was among them. we were staying in this crazy house, and my family was there, too. we had this huge room with big windows and blinds that we couldn't adequately shut, but we made every effort, anyway, because we didn't want my family to see us in this room together, doing whatever it was we were doing (which, uh, did happen in the dream). half the time we couldn't go in the room, anyway, because there was poison and blood and clean-up materials in there. we weren't very careful somehow.

it was a very weird dream. it's weirding me out still. i wish i could just go eat my lunch and forget about it, but i should wait until at least 11.

maybe more later.

ok, so... pretty much the only things between aja and seattle being together, besides several state lines, are making sure her mom is not sick and her mom giving her blessing to the moving plan. i hope she can get through those, because i need a roommate! and aja needs out of yuma! let me repeat myself over and over again. but yeah.

hung out with chris yesterday. we were both sleeeepy. tonight, however, unwound is playing an all-ages show at the jackson st. theater, so i'm hoping we'll be able to get in. unwound is so pretty, and they are breaking up. sniff! so that should be fun, anyway. mmm, shows.

tomorrow i am working all day, but i hope i get to do something fun after work. sunday will just suck because i'm working all evening, ew. but work is ok. i can survive it, anyway. and get paid. and stuff. and try to make the macs do stuff when they seem uncooperative. like, i told this lady to put her cd in another computer to see if it would work, and it did, and she said, "that's a very simple, very powerful idea." i don't know, it just amused me.

unhappy cancer talk starts here! my dad's psa has been rising. usually, this means something is up with cancer growth somewhere, i guess. it rose a *lot* really recently, and they can't figure out why. the good news is that a ct scan revealed no growth in soft tissues or anywhere they didn't already know about and/or have under control. the bad news is...they have no other news. so. yeah. i dunno! cancer isn't happy!

in other news, my mom is weird. screennames have been changed to protect the innocent.
mom: wonder if they give abnormal psych prof a bad time?
mom: (I WOULD HAVE TO!)
em: hahaha.
mom: everyone must come to class as a difference abnormality
mom: then you must guess
em: hahahah.
mom: wow! I think that would be fun!
em: "i dressed up as schizophrenia!"
mom: one of us did anyway

hehe.

i have little to write about right this minute. i'm at the end of oliver sacks' the man who mistook his wife for a hat. it's very interesting reading.

wow, i'm hungry. i can't remember if someone else is supposed to come in at some point or not. i think i might go eat my balance bar in the back room, anyway. only a few more hours before i can go home and eat leftover teriyaki, yum.

i'm trying to convince aja to move to seattle and get an apartment with me. when i move out of here in june, i will need a roommate, and i am having a hard time finding someone. anyway, she needs to get the fuck out of yuma. seattle is nice! and aja is cool! so i see the two as a nice match.

not a whole hell of a lot going on. i need to try to replace my id card stickers and get another textbook today. maybe chris will be around and we can do something. wouldn't that be nice. otherwise, maybe i'll try to hit a movie.

listening: ben folds five - steven's last night in town

i'm home at last! wooooo! and totally alone... wo--uhh, not-so-woo! i guess.

i have no idea where anyone who is regularly scheduled to be in this city is. i saw carly this morning as my mom and i were coming and going, but she ran away, i guess, because i didn't see her all afternoon. i haven't seen jana at all; she usually does stuff with shane on wednesdays, anyway. everyone else is out for the week or year.

my new glasses are mas sexy. pictures here and here.

i got a crapload of groceries today, but i didn't buy any snack foods (save my precious fuji apples). i'm dead in the fucking water, dude. i just got desperate and made this stuff out of toasted oats, cocoa, peanut butter, and honey that has a crumbly, dough-like consistency. i'm just eating it straight up. trader joe's was out of chocolate sorbet, and i got stupid and didn't buy the bestest no pudge brownie mix of doom. so..right, i already explained the results of my desperation.

i wish i were listening to "one (is the loneliest number)" right now. that song will make me giggle now because of this crazy dude in the haight. we were waiting to get into a middle eastern bar place with hookahs and belly dancers (exotic debauchery; you gotta love it) and he was coming up to us and playing the song, very badly, repeating the first verse/chorus over and over and staring us in the eyes and wandering to other people. it was amusing. he later talked to us about how he dropped out of society and lives on the street. he wanted to know why we wanted to go in the bar, if we had a reason NOT to go, because he couldn't think of any. he bitched loudly about peoples' clothes, how they wore fucked up fabrics and too much black, then played his own weird version of "black angel death song" that involved yelling at people that satan was coming or something. we were amused. i kept seeing irony. sweet, delicious irony. later, i drank a cappuccino while everyone else at the table (excluding kevin) smoked a hookah and we all ate really yummy food.

that was story number one from my weekend. more to follow as necessary. (i'll be at crappy work for hours and hours this weekend; surely i will have time to ramble to excess then!)

i moved some stuff around in my room so i could bring my record player in here. i started feeling greedy about my music and it bugs me that i can't usually listen to it when i really want to. i was just in here, irking and listening to the clash, when i thought, "hey, i could very easily be listening to this ON VINYL, through nice speakers! wtf am i doing with this shit!" so i moved my tv to the crappy desk chair and now i can annoy people from my private quarters! woo!

i think tomorrow i may have to hit up a record store for some new shit. sammy had some jane's addiction on vinyl that i now covet. it's either that or save up for something i need, like, uhh... i dunno, food. wait, i am kind of saving up for a cd changer for the stereo. yeah. party in my room, baby. mi estereo es el mas sexy. in english, that means i own you. (or not, really, but whatever.)

ok. this entry is dumb. back to the tv, where six feet under is soon starting!

listening: c average - dark harbour-green mountain airways-illgegard forever

wow, i tried to post twice to this blog last night and blogger died the second i hit 'post & publish.' kthx, blogger!

ok, so, yeah, i am back in washington, safe and sound. i am presently far more well-rested (and, i hope, in considerably better spirits) than i was last night when trying to write the other entries. it's ok, though, neither of them were particularly interesting, nor did they capture my grouchy state in a remarkably accurate fashion or anything. they just died and made me curse.

i did another thing that made me curse, too. i washed all the clothes in my backpack and magically forgot about my id cards in the pocket of one pair of jeans (hey, they need to be accessible for all that airport security) so...they got washed. this was fine for my driver's license, but bad for my sticker-covered husky card. the last two layers of quarterly stickers--most importantly, my bus pass--just fell off. i have remnants of them that clearly display the correct colors, but they're obviously not salvageable. i need to go into schmitz hall and get my card replaced and hope that the remnants will be enough for them to give me a new set of stickers without charging me a lot of money for losing them altogether. i still have them, i mean, they're just destroyed. ergh. anyway, it was a hassle i didn't want, and i kind of lost it.

i feel kind of bad, because my parents are always happy to see me, and i was just in this shit mood, very irritable. last night, after getting off the plane, all i wanted to do was go back to seattle, at long last. but no! i am getting new glasses this morning (yay?), so i needed to come back to olympia. mom promised to drive me back to seattle afterwards and we could get groceries. good goddamned thing, too, cos i am out of food up there.

anyway, california was a blast. sammy, aja, and kevin all completely rock to hang out with. scott, too, when he was around. i might write more about the trip later, but i don't think i can do it justice at this moment. we ate a lot of good food (always important), we hung out with some cool people at some interesting places, we went to pretty scenic locations (like the beach, god bless), and we saw ben folds rock us like crazy in concert. (yet another parenthetical, but god-DAMN was he good, y'all.) i want to go back! hehe.

hrm. i want a shower and my allergies are acting up. it seems to be sunny out this morning, a definite step up from last night when it was gross. it was so gorgeous in california when i left, and then i got here and it was doing the stereotypical seattle rain-gray-cold thing, which normally is more than fine with me, but last night, it just added to my growing aggravation. i was tired. i had spent a lot of time in vehicles, driving forever and ever, in the past 24 hours. now i have slept and i am ok.

listening: ben folds five - where's summer b?