i had all kinds of stuff to say, to write about, whatever, sitting in the bathroom before coming to work. now that i'm here and have the time to type, they're all gone. well, ok, i'm sure they're there, but they're dormant. stupid brain wanting to write at inconvenient times. i swear i'm most inspired at the times a pen or keyboard simply aren't handy--the bathroom or the sidewalk.

i wrote shitty poetry during math lecture today, and it wasn't even haiku. goddamned lyrics. i hate it when i do that; it literally brings tears to my eyes for some ridiculous reason and sucks completely. i have a folder on my hard drive that is freaking *full* of that kind of bullshit, most of which i wrote in 10th or 11th grade. i thought i had gotten past it, but sometimes, even now, it creeps back to me and fills me with those silly songwriting/performance dreams.

hah, kk's weird. he just stopped by. i'm at work, he's on his way to canada, and he just drops in to give me a hug.

i'm trying to remember how to squeeze those writing ideas i had out of my head and failing. blah.

tonight, chris and i are going to venture to capitol hill, but this time not for toys in babeland. oh, no, tonight, we need sushi. which, really, is sexy in its own right. (total aside, there is a question on one of the spark's tests, i think the purity test, that asks if you've ever eaten sushi off someone's naked body, or something to that effect. now i really want to try that. but, uh, not with chris, y'know.)

something in the disjointed language of fantasy that gabe keeps posting on #n00n strikes me as amusingly inspiring. it's all from gaming, nethack, which i don't do, but the language is fun anyhow. language is another reason i think i like my psych t.a. so much, too. (i like my math t.a. as well, but for entirely different reasons.) she gets very excited about a subject and tries to tell us how cool it is, but with her soft accent and, while her english is not broken, it's not exactly perfect, either, it's very interesting. she says "proximity" as "proximicity" and asked for clarification about what the st. louis arch and sunflowers were. maybe not language, per se, but definitely things part of our culture that are interesting to see interpreted from one outside it. little things like that, i don't know. she told me that my hue scaling data graph was beautiful. i have on my desk a multicolored set of connect-the-dots that illustrate the opponent color theory at work in my own eyes, and she tells me it's beautiful. there's something so endearing about that.

eyes are so cool. beautiful to look at, so fascinating how they work.

can i look at your eyes?

josie cleaned out the fridge tonight. i helped remove past-their-prime stuffs from their plastic resting places. there was one large tub of rice that had *purple* mold. that was so cool, it made my day.

how odd, i got a craving to listen to the propellerheads this evening. now i'm happily enjoying "on her majesty's secret service." mm, tasty.

duh-DUH!!!!
*breakdown, baby*

yeeeeah.

happy halloweeny, i say, as the eve comes to a screeching halt. i didn't dress up or party or anything, just force some friends and roommates to join me in a traditional halloween pizza order from pagliacci's. it took five phone calls--two outgoing, three incoming--to get the order correct and over an hour to deliver, but finally i had my pizza. oh yes. primo pesto, baby. it was good enough, anyway. no one else likes the funny mushrooms, so no mushroom primo for me. sadly, it arrived in the middle of watching evil dead (yes, the first one), which is particularly gory, and it took me a few minutes to adjust my brain and separate amusement-gore from hunger-satiation. they don't really mesh well.

people were going to go do stuff elsewhere tonight, i thought, but i don't think they did. i'm tired. wednesday is my other death day, so i was tired. my big toe still hurts! and i was a total bitch until i was properly fed. chris was having a shitty day, so between her being sad and needing to be comforted (not that i'm complaining; chris rocks and earned her right to be sad recently) and me and josie being bitchy at each other over money and pizza toppings, it wasn't really a happy time in the harem for awhile there.

the mac behind the desk at work now runs osx, which is so *pretty*... too bad the g3 it's running on is not at all *pretty,* nor does it have a mouse or keyboard that make the mac osx experience a truly pleasant one. fucking hockey pucks.

goddamn death days...

i was up at 6:40 this morning because my english presentation group wanted to get in some practice before class today. this worked out well. we were discussing male greek deities and decided to frame it with some guests on the jerry springer show. our teacher was highly amused. i think we did a good job. go us. now i have to compile the group paper. yay.

oh yeah, and the coens still rock.

i keep thinking of things that would make good band names, album titles, or occasionally dj monikers. besides Action Ramen, even. i think i would like a band called The X Approach. it's kinda math-geeky, but anything with "x" in it sounds vaguely cool. but music is not really where my creative tendencies lie...

actually, i want to get a digital camcorder of decent quality (probably miniDV format). i think i would help me write. no, seriously. i can't really explain why, but i think it would. also, i'd eventually like to try my hand at video editing, but i want to get a mac for that. so i'll save up for a camcorder, then work on getting a pretty, powerful little ibook or something. it's a project... for the future! woo!

*bops*
people are cool, but i'm too tired to deal with them. i so have nothing to say anymore. it sucks. blah. where can i go to buy energy, besides my friendly local speed dealer?

today is monday death day of doom. lots of work. little time. sleeplessness. nagging shoulder pain. tiredness. woo.

and i *really* want to listen to my webley 7", but the turntable we have, one, doesn't have a needle, and, two, isn't hooked up to an amp/receiver/whatever else it needs. i am getting all kinds of random advice, courtesy of both n00n and the rec.audio.* faq, all of which makes me think all i actually need is a needle and then send it through some other random equipment i already have at my disposal, but i would probably want some other stuff, and also it makes me feel like a complete idiot. yeah, so i'm a wannabe vinyl junkie who has zero concept of how audio equipment works and such. lame!

my shoulder is fucking killing me.

tonight is the free showing of the coen brothers new movie, the man who wasn't there. i got passes. casey's supposed to meet me there. also, i get leftover yummy thai food for dinner. bliss. mom and dad took me there for dinner last night. yay for mom and dad! and paul! because paul is crazy and i like to see my little brother.

i still don't understand why the new star cafe is never full when thai tom always is.. new star is good! and it's open more! maybe thai tom is supposed to have better phad thai or something. phad thai is good, but...
phad kratiem > *

and i know i'm spelling everything wrong. fuck it.

i have a paycheck. perhaps i should pick it up. cos, you know, getting paid is useful. for buying stuff. like food. and i need food. i also have a $42 check from the bookstore i need to deposit. again, too complicated, makes me feel like an idiot. i don't even know my account number so i can't fill out the little slip. duh.

i am too tired to do my easy stupid five math homework problems that are due tomorrow. i did about half the work. becky mentioned that i say "like" too much now. i know i'm not as bad as some people, who say "like" to preface every other word in each sentence their minds somehow manage to construct, but still, "like" is of the devil. i will now work to eradicate the devil from extraneous use in my spoken vocabulary. i sure as fuck don't *write* it...

oh yeah, and since gabe whined about it, i'm mentioning him in my blog. smile, gabe. you're on candid camera.

hehe, meesh really liked my last entry, or at least the description of my day using punctuation words. how silly. :)

i'm at work, barely attempting to do my homework, unable to irk because ethereal.net is down, feeling overall quite brain-dead. once in awhile someone will ask to borrow a pencil, and somehow, from the back of my throat, i muster a perky "mm-hmm!" i suppose i could be less enthusiastic or even more disdainful, but if it's audible at all, it's perky. i think it's that inability-to-surprise factor in my personality.

becky's been here all weekend. it's been fun having her around. i miss becky. on friday night, we went to a party with most of my roommates and one of jana's friends. i was a pimp and everyone else was some kind of slut--becky wore vinyl and looked kind of cyberpunk, chris was a very meek-looking catholic schoolgirl who allowed sacreligious things to occur between her bible and her buttocks, josie wore a sailor jacket with no shirt, jana was a "slutty" nun, anna was the devil in a sparkly black flapper dress, and amanda, in her handmade superman-print skirt, was superslut. we found ourselves very amusing and got one of the boys downstairs to take a few group photos.

shit. i was going to scan pictures today. oh well. sorry, mike!

the party itself wasn't too exciting; we danced a little to some dance music in the basement while people passed through on their way to the keg. some other people were using a bong in the back of the room. upstairs, a handful of talented musicians were playing jazz. we left around midnight, only to wait, in the rain, in the cold, for half an hour before our bus arrived. seven girls, most of whom were dressed in skimpy clothes, on the side of the road at midnight. very fun. we sang disney songs on the bus all the way home.

saturday afternoon was the reason becky came to visit: jason webley's halloween concert at the paradox. we were the first in line at around 4:30, by which time the weather was mercifully dry but still cold, and half an hour later, others came to join the line. strangely, the first two parties were people we knew--first matt kime, shawna, and her mom, then josie. then about ten million other people. it was nuts. there were so many people, and it was so cold; i was so glad to finally get inside.

we were each given a 7" blue vinyl record with admission, though it was crypically labeled and we couldn't discern the song titles, exactly. i've figured that it must be "southern cross" and its twin, which i think is called "northern lights," but it's definitely northern-something; both were previously unreleased. anyway, it makes me sad because vinyl is so cool and those songs are insanely beautiful and make me cry but i don't have a record player. blast!

the crowd at this show was rather dense -- standing room only -- and it had a weird vibe that i hadn't previously experienced at a webley love-in (hee). i stood for a vast majority of the in-theater show with very little room about me to even move or dance; i had my new record pressed up against my torso under my shirt. some drunken assholes repeatedly called for him to do drinking songs; one guy even tried to mosh. grr. you stomp, you dance, you yell, you shake things loudly, and you hold each other to sway, but you do NOT mosh to webley.

the show itself was his typical wonderful amazing stuff; theatrics, beautiful performances, emotion, energy. i love it. afterwards, we all zipped up our jackets and faced the cold, lead by a large puppet--clockface and yardstick for hands. the massive parade involved much drumming, yelling, cheering, noisemaking, and dancing, as we made our way ~15 blocks down the ave to the water, blocking traffic in major intersections and confusing drivers and bus riders as we marched. at the water, the puppet was burned, jason sang to us, and candles set in little paper boats became wishes set adrift on the lake. in the end, jason was lost at sea...

gone, the embrace of a lover
and the fire you discovered
already has died.
her body recoils as your hand goes to touch her again.
she's a temple that won't let you in.
at her side, you're alone...

the night was still young, so becky, the young man she met at the concert, rob, and i headed back to my place for some food. fun fun. i was exhausted by one in the morning from so much walking and standing.

and now i'm bored and exhausted, after only an hour of work and not doing a goddamned thing. i don't get off until 6:30, and i hope to meet my parents and younger brother for dinner after that, but we'll see. woo. i want to do the thai-ger room, but paul would disapprove. bleh, he can go eat at the burger hut.

i have "southern cross" stuck in my head something *fierce* now, and no player to hear it! arrgh. ah well. i'll just imagine it in my head.

anyway, as life is exciting, i will leave you to the rest of your lives now. the kind blogger recognizes her readership. *snort*