i've been doing a reasonable amount of experimental cooking this week, probably because i've been limited in the obvious-meals department due to bad shopping. this week, i think, i may do better, but this week has been all right. no foodgasms, but some things to reconsider and perhaps improve upon in the future.

first i made a stir-fry with those cute little yellow squashes, garlic, onion, bell pepper, and a little tomato. i seasoned it with soy sauce, pineapple juice, cinnamon, ginger, jalapeno sauce, and maybe thai basil? i don't remember too well. definitely cilantro, too. all that with some fake chicken strips and brown rice. it was on the spicy side (which i like), but didn't make for good leftovers. it was decidedly interesting, though.

last night i did something with red potatoes and cannellini beans. it had garlic, sherry, and dill as major flavor components, and i thought it quite resembled mashed potatoes in the end, but very tasty. i don't like mashed potatoes; they are too bland. these, however were tasty, though they could have taken a lot more creativity and still been nice. we also had roasted asparagus, which is also good with dill. dill is my new best friend.

tonight i tried further weirdness, with overall decent results. i bought an intriguing-sounding tortellini at trader joe's last weekend--gorgonzola and walnuts, mmm, my favorite on salad with a berry vinaigrette--so i tried to make a sauce that would complement it. i used frozen marionberries and the cheap cabernet i have for cooking. andi t turned out ok, but now christine is here and giddy because the boys she likes asked her out and that is so fucking cute!

i have my new turntable! yayayayayayay!

stuff is busy busy busy. i have one more video to watch before i have to return them tomorrow...i am working at imdb this afternoon...new turntable to play with...josie is coming by tonight...stuff is probably happening tomorrow, too, for example, laundry. i also will hang out with christine, and it seems like i am forgetting something. i should call my aunt and see if she wants to go to olympia on sunday. that seems like a good tradition, as long as she doesn't freak out and make my dad have more nerve attacks like last week. maybe this time i can go annoy becky for a bit. too many daytrips have left me with no time to see her. i bought my bumbershoot pass yesterday, hurrah! my dear old friend rachel called me this morning from venice, not knowing it was 6:30 am, but i was awake at 6 for some ungodly reason, so it was ok. i am just babbling here because i'm way tired and don't have a lot to say, i'm just busy busy and it's tiring.

keep your ideas and anything you want about the food zine coming! it is starting to shape up into something cool for at least one issue.

yeah. this entry sucks donkey balls. i need to catch a bus. sadness. time to learn how to prep images for indexing!

i woke up this morning in the middle of a dream. i was in a barn-type-thing at some sprawling farmer's market with my dad. we were sitting somewhere near a guy baking chocolate challah bread and sprinkling it with powdered sugar, talking to the real change guy from the ghetto safeway in my neighborhood. at one point, the guy baking the bread cut a fresh piece and gave it to me to give the real change guy, which i did, and the real change guy was grateful. then the baker gave me a stack of five or six quarters to give him. then he gave me another stack, which i suspected was for me, but i gave it to the real change guy. in the opposite corner of the barn, one of my coworkers (whom i suspect dislikes me for reasons unknown) was talking to this other, older guy, and he brought him some half gallon containers of apple juice.

suddenly, this woman yelled into the barn that she needs some help. the baker ran out to see what's going on, and the woman was trying to find a place to quarantine her companion until she could find out if he's infected with some virus. they're trying to use the bathrooms across the way. i was worried because my dad's immune system is compromised and he shouldn't be exposed to any bizarre pathogens. the possibly sick guy ran into the men's restroom, then the women's, and i was wondering how we were going to get out of here when my alarm woke me up.

...

the rest of my yesterday was interesting. family nearly always is.

my mom and i went to costco. she bought me some english muffins that i forgot to bring back with me.

my aunt came in at one point and barked at me to help with yardwork. she ordered me to get on work shoes (which i didn't have with me) and come out there because she brought her whole family and blah blah blah. i was angry. it was very disrespectful. i said more, but it's in irc scroll, and i don't feel like rewriting it now.

dinner was good. my sister and i were listening to the gossip beforehand and rocking the fuck out, so we were all sweaty when we came out to eat. we decided to take back the revolution and sit at the couch instead of one of the gender-segregated tables. my mom fixed my dress to the point that she could zip it up all the way on me, so now i have to get an appropriate bra (regular bras do not work with halters, duh) and maybe some sort of wrap to go with it. yay.

i think i need to go shopping this week. i meant to go on saturday but met up with sawzy instead. hee. that was cool, though. he gave me medicine's first album and an mp3 cd of cool stuff.

the base of my neck is sore. irc is down (SADNESS IN A BUCKET!). i think the rest of my morning will be devoted to doing nothing and/or brainstorming for the food zine. which WILL HAPPEN. yup. :D

like postcards from a sunday spent with family, a rainy august afternoon in olympia...

i drank two cups of coffee and stood outside with my purse (containing gum, wallet, sunglasses, cellphone, and red handkerchief) and a dress on a hanger piled atop my mom's old turntable, waiting for my aunt. the clouds hanging over seattle looked maybe like rain, but i didn't want to get my jacket.

the ride south was spent in the backseat of my aunt's accord with my cousin's fiancee, who is, in many respects, my opposite. they are all on a different plane of existence, and i don't know how to communicate. i am not sure what to say. my cynical exterior begins to feel like foam on a cappuccino; they just get it stuck on their upper lips, like it wasn't even there. that's a bad metaphor, but i'm stuck on coffee these days. they're just not going to understand my perspective, and i'm kind of afraid of theirs. not that we lack for commonalities, but... i don't know. their world is weddings and east side and sororities and drinking and business and cars. mine is drama and computers and music and beautiful sunsets and obsessing. and maybe i just can't understand.

at home, my parents are gone, no note, no phone message, no clue. my aunt panics, calling the hospital and having them search for him. twenty minutes later, they return. from church.

dad had several nerve attacks today. they no longer perform the ritual with counting and rags; there is breathing and looking in eyes, much more meditative. the air in the house changes when these happen. for one, my mom and dad were in the living room, my older brother near them, looking concerned, and i sat on the couch. in the next room, my cousins and their fiancees discussed movies that scared them--most notably, the just-released signs--and i knew that the rest of the cambodian entourage was staring vacantly at the hallway floor.

maybe more later; i was less inspired than i expected.

listening: helium - carnival song

it's not quite 9am. i am awake. i feel actually rested, although i still have ridiculous bags under my eyes. day number one of thinking melatonin is good stuff (save the radiohead song, that's not so great).

i probably have things to say, but i don't think i will. hah. i am a tease. this is a journal, not a confessional. it's for my own needs, not yours.

looking forward to seeing family today. wondering if i should bring cds. i am very, very addicted to music right now. music, coffee (bought some last night and ground it in my blender, must go start water), doing things that are not sitting here, thinking. addictions, all. i will probably bring a notebook and brainstorm more about the zine idea. chris thinks i should do it in print. i am thinking maybe he's right. that sounds like much more fun, if more difficult. i can have a teaser website with a couple articles or something.

the new sonic youth is nice. the only thing i've bought in the last month that is not something i will listen to obessively is probably death by chocolate. maybe i will give it to christine; i think she liked it more than i did. heheh.

listening: sonic youth - disconnection notice