holy crap, did i ever need that shower i just took.

i was away from home for a whole 24 hours, give or take. class yesterday was decent; my group discovered our experiment's results were very statistically significant, which is always a good thing! then work was productive and nothing really weird happened. after work, i caught the 44 and met kevin at ballard market, where we picked out things to make a weird soup with mushrooms, garlic, ginger, cilantro, lime, tofu, soba noodles, and baby bok choy. the soup needed to be rushed for the sake of getting to downtown, but it was all right.

the beth orton show was lovely, just lovely. her band was missing two people from the last time kevin saw her (no drums or keyboard), but guitar, upright bass, and cello were quite lovely. she swore a lot and told silly jokes. anyway, it was nice, and afterwards, i really didn't want to go home... so i went to kevin's, knowing i'd have to get up earlyish and hurry to school. kevin said he'd drive me.

i got to campus a little after 10, grabbed an overpriced small coffee from by george, and sucked it down as i walked through the quad on my way to class, where i stunk quietly, took notes for tuesday's assignment, and turned in my papers. on the way home, i bought more maxipads and, once again, resolved to buy the hippieshit cloth type from lunapads.

upon arriving home, it was SO shower time. guh.

jenny's acquaintance who drank all her jack daniels brought her "repayment" in the form of a tv antenna, so now we get reception of some local stations. that sucks so much! i hate tv. but it's entrancing. stupid tv.

and now, it's time to go to imdb. maybe i will go pet kevin's head afterwards, but i don't know, since i will need to be home asleep around 10 tonight. argh!

listening: luna - moon palace

today was the good, productive, non-freakout tuesday that last week's should've been. i didn't finish the article that was due today, but that was fine; it wasn't ready; it will be on thursday. i went to class, did what i needed to do, and i'll turn it in then. no problem. i went home, i did laundry, i went to trader joe's and picked up necessities, i ate lunch, i drank coffee, and i caught a timely bus downtown. i did my work. i was quite awake and coherent. i went to the harem and saw most of my friends and watched gilmore girls and ate dinner and too many cookies. i came home and didn't feel much like doing work, but i folded and put away laundry and listened to music. i've been okay.

the aimee mann concert was fab. she rocked out so much that she broke a guitar string. she was very funny in between-song banter. she ragged on jewel and michael jackson. there was an over-the-top but still pretty neat light display. she played a bunch of songs i love, including several from my favorite album of hers, i'm with stupid. it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

i tried the vegan sandwich shop on 42nd and brooklyn for dinner because agua verde, whom i love, didn't have obviously good vegan options for kevin, and i was bringing takeout for him, so that was an issue. they were tasty and interesting, though rather on the greasy side. the crazy jamaican burger had sweet potatoes on it, hot damn. yum.

tomorrow we're going to see beth orton. i think i saw an ad for the show that said it is to be acoustic. i hope it's neat.

tomorrow i also have class and work and i need to write two articles. wheee! i can do it, truly i can.

i should also be applying for these two things i saw advertised. one of them is working for the seattle times on their new sunday generation Y section or something; it sounds hokey, but writing experience is writing experience. the other is interning for some artsy new local publication, which could suck, but could be interesting. i need more internships, definitely.

nothing else really new. just babbling here. i should sleep soon. love.

ok! i have time, since i am waiting to hear back from my source for the beat article (due tomorrow, heh!). it's unlikely i will be able to turn it in tomorrow without hacking something out in the morning before class and printing it somewhere random, exciting, and costly. oh joy! oh sorrow! oh pain and love.

speaking of pain, sometimes i hate being a girl. hate. it. (PSST. THAT'S THE CODE FOR FEMALE TROUBLES. AREN'T I CLEVER.) seems appropriate for the inauguration of my unofficial girlweek. the only thing that would make this week over-the-top girly is if bjork herself came and propositioned me. or beth ditto, but at least she's, y'know, around. and human. but anyway, it made me unhappy during class, which was bad. cramps suck. i felt rather ill, then i went and used the physics auditorium building's basement restroom, which is huge and nearly always uninhabited, before trooping into the rotunda by work for a little bean and bagel. the bagel was incidental; it sopped up the overcaffeination so i wasn't horribly jittery on top of being hormone-sick.

also, one of my group members told me today she had been looking at my website and that i was witty. hee! out-of-the-blue compliments are cool. i have no idea what she was looking at to get that impression, though. anyway, hi, leah, if you see this. thanks!

hmm. so i glossed over the events of the weekend, but what i neglected to speak about was the freakout of last tuesday. yes, it's week-old news, but hey. or...notnews. anyway.

tuesday after class, i came home and made lunch, ate it, and sat around for awhile. in that time, nearing the hour of bus departure, i began to recall the million things i really needed to be doing soon or i would fail school and fail life and be a failure forever the end. not quite that desperate, actually, but it was a depression/anxiety PLOY which always colors things more extreme than they ought to be. so after telling chris i'd see him on the bus (he gets on several stops before me), i found myself wound into a tight little freakout ball and pacing, unable to force myself out of the house. my roommate said i should just skip. kevin said i should just skip. so...i called chris and said i was skipping. then i emailed heather and said i was skipping. then, i skipped. but not around the room. not to my lou, or even my loo, although i'm sure i made use of said facilities at some point over the course of the afternoon. no, i skipped out on an obligation and made soothing, calming lists of things to not fuck up.

after that, i fucked up. well, i did a little work first, then i fucked up. i decided i NEEDED to leave the house NOW around 3:30, and not to go be alone drinking coffee somewhere. so as soon as i got ahold of kevin, i bussed my freakout ass to ballard and walked forever to his house where he was good and calmed me down. i did some more work by organizing the article due that thursday. i ignored a bunch of phone calls from friends. i didn't go back to the udist until after 11:30. i completely ditched my friends' gilmore girls night without telling them or calling or anything. yes, this was shitty of me. there is no excuse.

the next night, after work, i ran some errands to the bank, safeway, and scarecrow. i stood at the atm, making a deposit, when josie jumped me. i swore at her (using my usual clever derivatives of "fuck") for five loud minutes about how you SHOULD NOT scare people at a FREAKING ATM. she was amused. ha ha funny! then kevin came over and i made burgers and fries and we watched time bandits, which was cute. whee.

thursday, after the crapness of registration i already mentioned when the frustration was still raw, i worked five straight, mind-numbing hours at imdb, during which time they cracked the 20,000 mark for names+contact info for the pro site. they were thrilled; i was somewhat unmotivated. then i got teriyaki. OH yes. my last standing love affair with animal flesh, and i enjoyed it with christine, who was somewhat unimpressed with her spicy chicken, and josie, who was unhappy with her veggie gyozas which contained mushrooms that looked suspiciously like meat. josie likes neither mushrooms nor meat. josie always seems to want me to provide olives for her pleasure. i hate olives. such conflict.

filling in some THRILLING details...friday was long. i got the veggie dinner special at aladdin's gyrocery, which is so good and so damn much food. deep-fried cauliflower and eggplant, rice, salad with feta, lentil soup that's a fabulous shade of green and spicy, hummus and pita, and a beverage... mm-MM! kevin had a falafel pita with soup. i really need to start doing things with lentils. anyway. then we wasted time and money in second time around. i finally got blondie's parallel lines lp for $5, as well as a guided by voices cd. then i made him watch the big lebowski for the first time. he laughed, but then said it seemed to have few things going on for as long as it was. i launched into my overanalysis of this movie i love so well but forced myself to stop because i'm just a nerd.

i want to see far from heaven.

i am going to san francisco for thanksgiving next week. it's going to be a family gathering for people who have recently lost a family member. this should be a pretty painful holiday, so we're trying to make it suck less. my aunt mary and uncle dick, whose only son, jason, accidentally shot and killed himself last april are possibly joining us for the trip, which would be *really* cool. they are great people. my sister has plans for where she's going to take me, like this crazy store in the castro. i need to do some christmas shopping. i also want to go to an art museum and perhaps go to a show.

this entry has gone on quite long enough. hope it's enough of an update for those of you silently clamoring for an update.

i might actually have something to write about! for my beat story, that is.but maybe not enough time, so... i might still have to turn it in late. woop-de-doo. i am listening to the longest, most repetitive song i own in any format. it amuses me. i don't think i've ever listened to it all the way through because after, oh, 15 minutes i get kind of incredulous and think, "jeez! how much longer is this thing?!" and skip forward.

tonight, kevin and i are going to see aimee mann. yay! excitement. wednesday is beth orton, which should also be cool! it's girlweek around here.

i went to olympia yesterday with my aunt. the aunt my siblings both hate. i can understand why they can't stand her, but i actually enjoyed her company yesterday. she means well, really. she's a bitch, but in a sometimes-reasonable way. anyway, we went down for my brother's olympia symphony concert, which was lovely. i sat next to a little old lady and a large man who coughed and smelled of cigarettes. the little old lady was cute, though--i pointed out my brother as the bassist in the back, and she said, "oh, the one wearing the white shirt?" mind you, they're all wearing black-and-white suits/tuxes. it made me giggle. also, the wife of one of my dad's friends commented, "paul is doing really good up there! he's turning the pages faster than anyone!" hee.

saturday i sauteed onions three different times. i baked muffins that were really fucking good. i made a lasagna with tofu in it, which is NOT as bad as it sounds. some of my friends came over and we listened to steve martin records and played apples to apples. it was cold and windy.

i spent a lot of time with kevin. this should hardly be surprising. he's cute.

and now, i must get clothes on and go to class and print my stupid draft and participate in a bunch of dumb experiments and try to secure an interview with the deviance seminar coordinator and write an article and go to work and go to kevin's and go see aimee mann and eat sometime in there and not freak out about life at any point because that would be death.

listening: track star - west coast weather

so...i've been busy, and i kept meaning to write, but i didn't. and i can't now, really. i have a 3-page draft of the introduction to my psych lab final paper due at 12:30 and i've written... none of it. yeah. i am also screwed for my beat story due tomorrow, but hey. that is somewhat less my fault, although not that much less.

so, hi, hello, i am going to go kick my ass now. and eat more cinnamon puffins. crazy health nut cereals!