tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30947912011-04-21T12:15:38.951-07:00butter knives are for the weak.just jumping off the cliff like everyone else.emilynoreply@blogger.comBlogger5751100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-931621302003-04-23T23:06:00.000-07:002005-11-11T18:59:51.276-08:00all right, guys, i think this is it for butter knives. i'm not killing the site--i like to keep all my online journal archives, kthx--but i have begun anew over at chiasmus.org. the new title is a dumb joke to myself. and don't be alarmed: i am now capitalizing properly. another warning, i'm having only one day's posts on the main page instead of three, so you may need to check out the archives emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-929999002003-04-21T12:55:00.000-07:002003-04-21T12:55:01.186-07:00hi! i am starting a new dumb blog project soon. chiasmus.org is shaping up nicely!
i was trying to use moveable type on my new server, but its interface was looking like k-rap in mozilla so i said no thank you. which sucks, because it has the functionality i want for another project on the new site.
i have things to say, i suppose, but i won't say them now. there is work to be done.emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-927615842003-04-16T22:27:00.000-07:002003-04-16T22:27:52.716-07:00my boyfriend really has some weird effects on me. he has habits like listening to cds on random all the time and eating restaurant leftovers as soon as you get home, even if you were stuffed to the gills when you left. i've found myself doing these things to some extent over the past few months.
i ate at the restaurant formerly known as noble palace with three guy friends tonight after gilmore emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-926105062003-04-14T15:31:00.000-07:002003-04-14T15:31:08.560-07:00i suppose i ought to be reading those nasty .pdfs about some motivational theory thing, but wow. i so do not want to. i probably will get cracking when i'm done writing this, but until then... no.
i wrote my "thought" paper. i swear the prof wrote this question for me specifically. i complained to him that the level of discussion in class was too steeped in academia and i functioned much moreso emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-925205592003-04-12T23:55:00.000-07:002003-04-12T23:55:26.750-07:00so, i did something semi-exciting and semi-crazy. that's very small percentages of each adjective, mind you. i went and registered chiasmus.org and got a month of hosting for it. so. watch this space for disappearance. it's more exciting to do completely frivolous things than it is to, say, read psych articles or write "thoughts" about them or try to understand supreme court cases.
i don't have emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-924352012003-04-11T09:13:00.000-07:002003-04-11T09:13:17.763-07:00friday five
1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
officially, i say radiohead, in april of 1997 in salem, oregon. the running from demons tour. i was 16. it was fucking fabulous. technically, it was all-4-one at the county fair when i was 12 or something; tickets were $5 and i took my friend as a birthday present.
2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
what a simple question for suchemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-923664082003-04-10T08:55:00.000-07:002003-04-10T08:55:16.420-07:00my textbook arrived yesterday morning! and then, all hell broke loose.
well, not quite.
as a fully-functioning human female, there are certain things my body just DOES...i don't TELL it to do these things, it just DOES them. for, like, a week at a time, on a regular basis. things that, if i were unable to correctly recognize them for what they are, might well make me think my body is broken, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-922345132003-04-08T11:01:00.000-07:002003-04-08T11:01:18.733-07:00i was wonderfully productive last night. i wrote about six long questions about the article i had to go photocopy, which is twice as many as i needed to. it took me until, oh, 10pm, but still! i did it and it's done! i also made dinner (again around 10, yeesh) and spooned the leftovers into the rest of my tortillas for tiny burrito lunches. hurrah for too small burritos, even if they're made withemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-921707132003-04-07T13:18:00.000-07:002003-04-07T13:18:38.576-07:00there are many little things in life right now that make me go, "argh!"
one, the textbook i ordered three weeks ago for the class i ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO do the reading in or lose face and grade points hasn't come in yet. i've been assigned an article that's in the book and not the e-reserves. the article is from 1991 in a journal that isn't especially popular, so while i can connect to the journalemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-920641752003-04-05T16:56:00.000-08:002003-04-05T16:56:19.483-08:00umm... masturbate for peace.
any little thing i can do to help, eh?
...
listening: 764-hero - you were a partyemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-920633002003-04-05T16:31:00.000-08:002003-04-05T16:31:03.340-08:00this is the geekiest song i have heard in awhile. heh.
i am feeling very uninspired and unexcited by life. i want something cool to look forward to, but there isn't really anything. oh well.
i can't listen to ben folds five's "regrets" without beating myself up, either.
need somethign to do. don't want to do anything.emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-920319712003-04-05T00:32:00.000-08:002003-04-05T00:32:34.890-08:00also, heh. people are odd. at least this time in a cute way. (thanks, aja!)emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-920318782003-04-05T00:29:00.000-08:002003-04-05T00:29:01.873-08:00hi. i am bored. bored, bored, bored.
it's kind of nice to be bored, but unemotionally so--the past few times i've been bored on a friday night it resulted in massive depression, which is less than fun! so! now i'm just tired and bored. and cold. because apparently, the heater in my room is incapable of heating beyond that foot of air next to it. it's cold when my hands are in my lap or on the emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-919877082003-04-04T07:56:00.000-08:002003-04-04T07:56:17.640-08:00hokay...is anyone else suddenly on this 'howdy' thoughts and humor mailing list? lemme tell ya, i am more than happy to listen to opposing viewpoints, but uh. i did not ask nor do i wish to receive such viewpoints in my email. it's pushing christianity and a really pretty mundane sense of humor coupled with an overly defensive attitude about what kind of liberal asshole you must be if you don't emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-919219292003-04-03T08:36:00.000-08:002003-04-03T08:36:35.860-08:00arrgh. i just woke up, and i was having a dream that becky stabbed herself and only i knew. at first i let her do it, then i realized she wasn't dying and panicked, asked if it was ok to dial 911, and she said ok. but 911 never worked, it didn't dial right, ever, for some reason. oh, this was after she confessed to me that the true love of her life was billy corgan, although she wouldn't leave emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-917570232003-03-31T21:06:00.000-08:002003-03-31T22:11:41.000-08:00my vcr is having problems properly carrying out the 'r' part of its job description. i am not about to go replace my vcr (and, thusly, my tv; it's a 13" tv/vcr UNIT) in order to tape the occasional program, but it does throw a wrench in my plans to tape gilmore girls for the gang this quarter.
what it does is record whatever i tell it to--keeping the audio track from what was there before. yes, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-917158152003-03-31T08:34:00.000-08:002003-03-31T08:34:42.763-08:00oh, i am here. really. promise. i've just been...away. y'know. as in, not here. but i am here now. so. maybe i'll write some things. about stuff.
doesn't that sound exciting?
perhaps this should be webloggy for awhile... nah. maybe this afternoon at work, but not now.
i've had a whole week with no specific obligations of time or talent. it was quite lovely. i am trying to remember all we did. emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-913020902003-03-24T13:29:00.000-08:002003-03-24T13:29:50.153-08:00goddamn. i can't listen to war coverage anymore. i've been keeping npr in the background since this morning, but i cannot tolerate any more. war is dumb. there are a lot of buts to that statement, but still. it's dumb.
my brain is a little dumb right now, too, and i'm not sure if it's lack of food, caffeine, sleep, or even that tiny bit of tequila. maybe a happy combination of all of the above.
emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-912917352003-03-24T10:18:00.000-08:002003-03-24T10:18:47.186-08:00so...the oscars.
i didn't get drunk. jana was hopped up on vicodin from her happyfun spring break oral surgery, so none of us partook.
until later.
hold yer horses; "drinking" for me consisted of half a shot of tequila in a can of aranciata soda, followed by a glass of water. we then watched mallrats for the katrillionth time (ok, well, it was lauren's first, actually). i was very tired and emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-911407742003-03-21T11:42:00.000-08:002003-03-21T11:42:33.263-08:00wartime oscar party drinking game!
before the ceremony begins, everyone must pick winners in every category. WRITE THEM DOWN. there may be a PRIZE at the end. from jesus. or a fairy. or a genie in a lamp. at any rate, your wish must be for WORLD PEACE. if you are too drunk by then, you can always wish for whirled peas. even jesus will understand.
here are the times you get to increase your emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-911060462003-03-20T21:15:00.000-08:002003-03-20T21:15:26.436-08:00hey, y'all. well. i've just eaten a bowl of wannabe thai hot and sour soup that was missing some crucial element (my own fault), finished a cook's tour which made me want to go to vietnam, and our country is finally officially at war with iraq. i suppose it's about time i weighed in on all that.
since i'm clearly concerned enough to have gone to a war protest, stuck a little linkydink to not inemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-910156532003-03-19T13:47:00.000-08:002003-03-19T13:47:19.436-08:00there is a library tech who works downstairs that everyone working behind this desk fears. she walks by and snipes at us if someone at a table not exactly in our immediate viewing range has an open bag of m&m's. i have been told that having a cup (with a lid) on the desk, which is specifically permitted by library rules, "sets a bad example for the patrons." she has also freaked out and been the emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-908356112003-03-16T20:15:00.000-08:002003-03-16T20:15:09.390-08:00yeahhhsss. i am home. i am so tired. the weekend has been long and all i wanna do is...
blllaahhh, i wish i hadn't eaten a bunch of peanut butter cookies when i got home.
anyway. i am tired as fuck. long weekend.
i did write an entry earlier detailing my exciting goddamn weekend of stuff, but blogger ATE IT (as mentioned below). fucking blogger. fucking internet exploder. this doesn't happen emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-908134882003-03-16T11:20:00.000-08:002003-03-16T11:20:06.090-08:00ohhh my fucking god... i just spent freaking half an hour writing about my weekend and blogger fucked the fuck up the second i hit 'post and publish.'
arrrghhh.
anyway, mom's home from church, i will write again LATER.
fuckyoublogger.emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-907393352003-03-14T16:48:00.000-08:002003-03-14T16:58:10.000-08:00hey, ho, here's another redesign. lemme know what you think. is something screwy, etc. i have thus far only tested it in internet explorer (heh, i typed that 'exploder' at first; i'm a snob even in my unconscious) and will see what it looks like in mozilla when i get home.
anyway, i am out for the weekend. school is done for the quarter; what a relief.emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-906177562003-03-12T16:19:00.000-08:002003-03-12T16:19:59.403-08:00yeah. i know. i need to seek professional help.
i KNOW it. it is SO HARD. because. you know. you have to find someone you feel is going to help you. there are a lot of people out there and it is HARD for me to deal with picking through them and finding one who is going to actually help me --yeah. it's an excuse.
anyway. i am full of excuses. shouldn't they sometimes get to count for something, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-905721092003-03-11T22:24:00.000-08:002003-03-11T22:31:10.000-08:00i probably shouldn't be doing this.
but, hey. there are some thoughts, you know, swirling around this little depression-and-hormone-ridden brain of mine and they need to come out somewhere that isn't whining at my sleepy boyfriend who isn't really in a position to do anything. no one is. only me, and i am too fucked up and busy and stupid.
so.
WHY THE FUCK AM I SUCH A STUPID IDIOT.
here is a emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-905032192003-03-10T21:06:00.000-08:002003-03-10T21:06:18.890-08:00yar!
it is soooo incredibly hard to concentrate on stuff i need to be doing. so, so hard. i don't know WHY. and i must be iron-deficient in my femininity cos i am totally brain dead and tired. i need to get some things from the store but i am far too tired to go there tonight. ugh.
kevin made my cd burner work in linux, though! woo hoo! 6x powah! hey, it's better than nothing. i need my emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-904305122003-03-09T18:27:00.000-08:002003-03-09T18:40:48.000-08:00aha, the ol' layout switcheroo...
it seems to be working, save for the links to specific old entries, so...guess you can't do that for awhile. it's ugly, but it's MY ugly. this is my really old-ass layout from like. three years ago or something. it's simple. i am far too lazy for a proper redesign. oh yeah, and BUSY. jebus fuck.
maybe next week.
listening: pavement - newark wilderemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-904086112003-03-09T10:04:00.000-08:002003-03-09T10:04:27.810-08:00the ave project is so fucked. not the street widening revitalization crap; my story about it! i haven't um. i haven't started. and a draft is due tomorrow. by noon.
as i told chris, i think i'm just gonna write up some shit about what *i* think and then throw in some of what my profile interview said and some of what i can to back it up with evidence from census data and shit on the city's emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-903139332003-03-07T10:35:00.000-08:002003-03-07T10:35:19.623-08:00i... haven't been here in awhile, have i?
i'd like to stay, but... you know. i'm a little busy these days.
next week is the last week of classes. i am to be completely finished with everything by friday. after work, i am probably getting to olympia somehow, then high-taling it to portland with my mom for a little mom-daughter portland-time. i'll get to see my older brother and niece, probably emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-900264072003-03-02T18:37:00.000-08:002003-03-02T18:37:17.233-08:00it's no fun, it's no fun
reading fortune cookies to yourself
been in a luna mood the past couple days. after friday rocked pretty well (show + boyfriend), saturday was frustratingly long. it felt horrendously unproductive despite the amount of work i did on my profile story and my lyrics project. by 8pm, i was going stir crazy, but it was too late. no one wanted to get food and i had absolutely emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-899737872003-03-01T16:06:00.000-08:002003-03-01T16:06:29.860-08:00it's only taken two and a half years, but i'm finally doing college coursework writing that is interesting enough for me to want to share with you, the world.
ok, so i did post two things from last quarter. one was a story about washington state prostate cancer advocacy that, someday, maybe, i will go back and finish with more interviews. it grows stale by the day. the other is my formal emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-898577622003-02-27T12:37:00.000-08:002003-02-27T12:37:28.496-08:00"municipal courthouse" is not the same as "county courthouse," which, for all i could tell, is the same thing as "county correctional facility." all within a block of each other. hi, please to be confusing me, kthx!
so i got up at 7 this morning, showered, ate, packed a snacky assemblage of food for a long day, and hopped on a bus downtown that let me off right in front of the king county emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-898183782003-02-26T20:40:00.000-08:002003-02-26T20:40:42.263-08:00some things:
i am going to go hang out at the courthouse tomorrow morning. the 79 runs from right around the corner to near the courthouse, so that's remarkably convenient.
i am also interviewing the owner of the vegan sandwich shop tomorrow after class. that's a little nerve-wracking, but i'm confident, somewhere deep inside, that i can do a good job.
when i got home from pitching the emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-897921152003-02-26T12:25:00.000-08:002003-02-26T12:25:58.746-08:00i'm at work. how unusual. trying to sort through all kinds of homework anxieties, as usual. in fact, there is very little about today that seems remarkable or noteworthy in the slightest.
psycinfo is not finding me very many useful items. i am looking for research on some sort of biological basis for ethics, morals, values, etc. that supercedes cultural and religious indoctrination. i'm sure emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-896221542003-02-23T16:10:00.000-08:002003-02-23T16:10:05.216-08:00i took a spill last night walking west along the south side of 45th in wallingford. kevin and i were looking for a place to eat and had already passed and rejected several restaurants before coming up on the second to last block, where i tripped on the sidewalk ramp and landed on the palms of my hands and left knee. my left palm is pretty scraped up.
i wanted mexican. kevin didn't think mexicanemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-895414542003-02-21T23:08:00.000-08:002003-02-21T23:08:42.240-08:00my advanced reporting prof suggested that in order for us to understand other people, we should have a working knowledge of who we are and who we are not; what our privileges are and what we take for granted; what we are denied. i've taken this to heart. this is not to say these things are good or bad - though i feel lucky to be or not be some of them - just that they are my perspective and emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-895402872003-02-21T22:31:00.000-08:002003-02-21T22:31:26.226-08:00we had a Serious Incident at work today. someone got arrested. it was quite the kerfluffle.
around 3:30, someone from downstairs delivered a new stack of refund slips and told us to throw out the old ones. i had no sooner taken the old ones and placed them on the desk when a woman came to the desk and said, "a man is masturbating to pornography at the back corner computer. could you please call emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-894209232003-02-19T23:57:00.000-08:002003-02-19T23:57:34.180-08:00having now watched a movie a day since sunday, i think it's fair to call myself a movieslut. chris never appreciated it when i called him that, but it really was endearing.
"love liza" was depressing. chris had lauren join us, and i don't think she knew what to expect. but it was depressing. and it's impossible to glamourize gas huffing, but even if you were gonna try, philip seymour hoffman emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-892143742003-02-16T18:15:00.000-08:002003-02-16T18:15:57.170-08:00howdy. haven't updated in awhile because...well, no excuses, time for whatever. i'm physically tired and sore from marching for peace and justice yesterday. yup, it was productive. well, not really, but it was very impressive and cool. all kinds of people, so many of them, such a long walk to the INS, so many full buses, taxis are expensive and ironic. do i really have anything to say? no. just, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-889502562003-02-11T19:11:00.000-08:002003-02-11T19:11:44.220-08:00how about a positive entry? you guys like positive entries, dontcha?
yes. well. things are better, or i'm feeling better. at least, i am after extra coffee intake at lunch and sleeping a lot. oh, and people being nice to me as much as possible. i love you all and i'm sorry for being a moody-ass freak. i'm fine, mostly. i should probably look for a shrink, but yeah, really? ok.
i got my zippo inemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-888045532003-02-09T09:36:00.000-08:002003-02-09T09:36:37.413-08:00ooouuusssshhh.
yes. these past two days have deeeefinitely been pms. i am ok now. you know what i needed? i needed out of the house. i would've been fine then, i think.
and now i am having cramps in fuckin' waves. they are not fun. i did not used to get cramps or pms to speak of. this is not cool.
josie is still here. she crashed on my couch because the boys who live in the basement at her emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-887611492003-02-08T09:20:00.000-08:002003-02-08T09:20:10.313-08:00so i was a little upset last night.
i'm not gonna apologize for it. i don't think i did anything or said anything truly hurtful. i was hurting and mostly i left everyone else the fuck alone without putting my problems on them. maybe on kevin, but he's working on coding a game and therefore unavailable to get sucked into my emotional hijinks.
here is what i did last night:
got home from work emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-887399452003-02-07T19:40:00.000-08:002003-02-07T19:40:48.573-08:00whinebitchmoan.
ok, this is pathetic, and it happens every fucking friday. every week there is no one to 'blame.' i just expect too much, apparently, of my usual-suspect friends. i wanna DO THINGS. we never go do things that are not (1) taking walks (2) eating (3) watching tv/movies. people are busy, i appreciate that. i'm busy, too. but, you know. i like to have fun. there are things i want to emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-887368152003-02-07T18:17:00.000-08:002003-02-07T18:17:10.006-08:00there are very few occasions i wish jenny and i had gone for a 2-bath unit.
this is one of them.
as i left work half an hour ago, i thought, gee, i should use the bathroom! nahhh, i'll just go when i get home!
foolish.
jenny's boyfriend alex was here when i got home, i could tell. his suitcases were plopped down across the living room floor. i could hear jenny on the phone in her room, but emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-886755512003-02-06T16:05:00.000-08:002003-02-06T16:05:42.463-08:00j-school trauma and other oddities
winnie has been doing titles for her entries lately, and that's a format i've always liked to have the option of doing, but i never seem to do it since it isn't formally part of the whole template shindig... but anyway. title there is.
picture it: a sunny but cold--i swear it's cold--february afternoon in seattle. i'm bundled up in several layers and walking emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-886323132003-02-05T21:18:00.000-08:002003-02-05T21:18:53.040-08:00ok, i am now writing, and quite productively and maybe even decently if i do say so myself. this does not detract from my initial observation that the meeting was boring, nor does it mean my prof will like it. hell, it might even technically be late. i'm not really sure, since the whole timetable has been screwed up by the columbia explosion. (he was supposed to be in houston this week, teaching emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-886227742003-02-05T18:02:00.000-08:002003-02-05T18:02:34.580-08:00i am now everyone's webmonkey. well, not everyone, but, you know. a lot of people, all of a sudden. which is odd and amusing because i haven't exactly been webmonkeying a whole lot for at least three years now, but i guess some skills never die. i used to be better, though.
i mean, four years ago, i probably would've made the template of this damn page myself. today, i'm far too frickin' lazy.
emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-885197582003-02-03T23:19:00.000-08:002003-02-03T23:19:10.406-08:00today is another day with nothing to report. it's been a busy, productive, and pleasantly social monday. i went to work for two hours, took a bus downtown, attended the city council meeting and mayor nickels' state of the city address, came home briefly to finish the snacks i'd packed (bread, tomato, hummus, applesauce, carrots) and down some coffee before heading to the harem for gilmore girls. emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-884001212003-02-01T17:17:00.000-08:002003-02-01T17:17:36.390-08:00here is why i am a bad person:
case 1. a woman came to the desk to say that she's used up her copycard printing a job that she accidentally sent to the color printer. color printing is $0.90/page, while b&w is $0.10. big difference, especially with a 10-page document. she's very nice about it and admitted she screwed up, but wants to know why the pages in her job are not printing. i guess she's emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-883970872003-02-01T15:47:00.000-08:002003-02-01T15:47:46.616-08:00well, i'm at work again, covering for a coworker who wanted to go party in portland for the chinese new year. he said he'd been holding off on celebrating for a month now, only recognizing 2003 in the sense that he had to write the date that way. no one else seemed to want to work the closing 3.5-hour shift today, so i took it. hey, what the hell else was i gonna do with my saturday?
so this emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-882266352003-01-29T13:09:00.000-08:002003-01-29T13:09:12.646-08:00yowza! i'm at work again. i am also so far impressed with the tenacity christine displays in keeping up her russian blog! it's good stuff, y'all. read it. the elevator story is priceless. so i'm gonna pimp the shit outta my dear friend's bloglet cos she is doing a bang-up job and doing interesting things in life. also, russian jokes are good.
my friends in general are cool! they should all keep emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-881056242003-01-27T09:37:00.000-08:002003-01-27T09:37:51.756-08:00my upstairs neighbor is fucking constantly vacuuming. what in hell.
i don't even own a vacuum.
yeah. it shows.
listening: girls against boys - all the rageemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-880677252003-01-26T16:12:00.000-08:002003-01-26T16:12:30.120-08:00YES! HELLO. I AM OK, HOW ARE YOU?
capslock is for the leet!!@#
um. hi.
last night i was freakin' out. i have been wasting my weekend doing nothing and was very upset about it. i felt, actually, kinda suicidal (let's not overreact) and i couldn't cry or sleep or do anything but type, i guess, so in the middle of the night kevin came over and just lay with me until i could sleep.
(for the sake emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-879766092003-01-24T13:38:00.000-08:002003-01-24T13:38:22.443-08:00hello. i am at work. i have approximately 0 things on my mind. i have things i should be doing, but the vast majority of them are not really things i can do at work. or they are reading, and, hah! reading. that's that thing that requires my long-lost attention span and eyes that aren't stunned by the frequency of fluorescent lighting. i guess i could be looking at the lecture slides from my emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-879628792003-01-24T08:41:00.000-08:002003-01-24T08:41:49.366-08:00today i had to explain "shagging" to my mom. it was hilarious. it all started when she was telling me what she'd read about the new radiohead album...
mom: "most of the new songs are definitely for shagging --- if you like to shag very, very slowly."
me: hahahah.
mom: what...is shagging??
me: hahsahdhl!
me: umm.
me: british version of fucking.
mom: it appears that I have missed something emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-879170882003-01-23T12:51:00.000-08:002003-01-23T12:51:56.670-08:00today is most definitely a jimi hendrix kinda day. i don't know why, but i was walking home for lunch and the sun and the sky and the general ambience of the day made me long for that acid-drenched guitar wailing.
i put on "electric ladyland" as soon as i got home and went about my business. my copy is vinyl, and it's 2 lps.
side A, i ate cold leftover mac&cheese and browsed swappingtons. sideemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-876745062003-01-19T01:40:00.000-08:002003-01-19T01:40:22.933-08:00picking apples for the kings and queens
of things i've never seen...
i felt positively *drunk* tonight, all without a drop of anything remotely alcoholic.
i arrived at christine's goodbye party, bag of sparkling lemonade and "tacky american gifts" in hand, feeling the effects of a mild headache. several hours, two slices of pizza, some brie and bread, and entirely too many sugary compulsive emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-876614902003-01-18T18:28:00.000-08:002003-01-18T18:28:50.653-08:00blood flows through my brain, twitching with each overworked neuron as it drifts by. there is no stopping the tense movement of fingers as they rest in midair, hovering above the keyboard, waiting to uncramp. i half expect my eyes to be bloodshot from the debauchery of the last hour, but there is only a slight rosiness to my cheeks that i'm sure will quickly fade.
if only i hadn't been alone.
emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-876434062003-01-18T09:19:00.000-08:002003-01-18T09:19:45.526-08:00hurrrrrah! it's saturday! and what a beautiful saturday it is!
i am up before 9am! why? because! apparently i only need seven hours of sleep to be wide awake! i don't think that's entirely a bad thing, it's just odd! i don't really like being a morning person (gassssssp!!@#), but it seems to be the world i'm living in.
the plan today seems to be seeing "the hours" with josie and jana in the emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-876170462003-01-17T16:57:00.000-08:002003-01-17T16:57:54.220-08:00hi, y'all!
i have been productive this day. disturbingly and perkily productive. the only bad thing i've been is...bad at actual work-at-work work. i forget everything, right? i am also apparently baffled by the workings of the damn copier. i am copier retarded, and yes, i know what that means. i do not say it lightly. i don't ever work with copiers. copiers are stupid. i would, seriously, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-875374082003-01-16T07:53:00.000-08:002003-01-16T07:53:30.753-08:00hormones make me SO not cool it hurts.
yow.
i'm ok now. maybe. or at least better.
i also woke up because i was having this scary-as-fuck dream that the beach house we stayed in over christmas was actually oceanfront and being bombarded by huge, blue waves and we couldn't seem to get ourselves together enough to leave.
now i must shower and pursue a day of great length and considerable emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-874632552003-01-14T22:49:00.000-08:002003-01-14T22:49:36.420-08:00hooo boy. well, if today wasn't one rollercoaster o' ANGERBALL for me, i don't know what. y'all should be glad you're not priveleged enough to read the shit i write in random paper notebooks, cos it's fuckin' scary. (disturbing example: "i am a hippie. a hippie who likes to jerk off to fugazi." yes, it's tmi.)
people are ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME. i am gonna itemize my frustration to the best emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-872993822003-01-12T01:20:00.000-08:002003-01-12T01:20:15.106-08:00garsh. i am a terrible blogger of late. apologies! but no promise to improve.
today (well, yesterday now) was chris' 22nd birthday. happy birthday, chris! the date was celebrated by several people, from those who've known him forever (his perfectcousin and younger sister) to those who've only known him this past year (the haremites and i), hanging out at his apartment and amusing ourselves with emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-870759322003-01-07T12:55:00.000-08:002003-01-07T12:55:51.733-08:00i need to leave (again) in, oh, half an hour, but i'm enjoying my home time for now. had a quick lunch of undercooked spaghetti (apprently, i've lost the ability to count minutes properly) and am now having my life spoon-fed to me in the form of chocolate sorbet. mmm. oh, yes, and boiling water for coffeeeee. which--yes, yes, i think i hear it!--may be boiling right this very moment! it's amazingemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-870663102003-01-07T08:59:00.000-08:002003-01-07T08:59:58.343-08:00so! yesterday was the first day of class. i feel like i didn't have any break because the vast majority of my days over break were spent traveling, with family, or working. alas. it was a good "break" anyway, because... i dunno, it just didn't totally suck, it wasn't terribly stressful, and i made some money. yay.
i did buy a folding table, by the way, and kevin carried it home for me, in the emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-868443872003-01-02T13:23:00.000-08:002003-01-02T13:23:12.823-08:00hi! it's not that wretched year 2002 anymore! yay!
so i wanted to write on some sort of year-in-review/good-bad/what's new since a year ago theme that is so...common. but fuck it, common is fine since no one but those who love and respect me in the morning read this thing anyway. (if you are not one of these people, please leave a comment! i wanna know who y'all are, seriously. it's not like i emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-866737942002-12-29T15:42:00.000-08:002002-12-29T15:42:46.630-08:00my new stuff has been temporarily assembled on the dining table. i need to buy a folding table for it so we can use the dining table for its intended purpose--and so it can be arranged in such a way that wires aren't stretched uncomfortably across the room--but hardwick's is closed on sundays and i don't feel the urge to make a goodwill run. i have a fantastic parking spot and don't wish to push emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-866368222002-12-28T14:15:00.000-08:002002-12-28T14:15:56.630-08:00hi! why, here we are, nearly a week after my last post. my, my, where does the time go!
oh! that's right! it goes to that sucking vortex called "the holidays with family"!
sorry, i forgot for a moment. i've been away.
i'm at work again, of course. sicklabgirl. yeah, i have contracted a cold! i informed my mother of this the other day, and she asked me, "why?" WHY do i have a cold? why?! ummm, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-864127062002-12-22T16:31:00.000-08:002002-12-22T16:31:15.550-08:00well now, work is almost over. i have successfully wasted three and a half hours at $8.00 each! hurrah!
in that time, i have discovered my penis (the spark says i am definitely a man), helped a kinda scruffy-cute guy learn what 'drag and drop' was, watched several ridiculous flash animations with the volume turned WAY down so as not to draw attention to the fact that i was watching movies at emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-863746402002-12-21T14:58:00.000-08:002002-12-21T14:58:28.096-08:00third post so far today! fuck yeah!
so i am doing something really hard right now. really, really damn hard. it's kind of hard to explain, but let me try.
when my dad died last summer, he was cremated, according to his wishes (and mom's). my aunt wasn't happy about it, but everyone else thought it was wonderful. the plan was to put some of the ashes in an urn and keep them at the cemetary whereemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-863703022002-12-21T12:20:00.000-08:002002-12-21T12:20:04.400-08:00for anyone who was truly worried, my roommate has reappeared. last night i remarked to chris that i hadn't seen her for a few days, and he replied, "have you checked her room? dr. laura's mother was murdered and they found her body in her bedroom."
this made me really not want to check her room, although i was pretty fucking sure my roommate had not been murdered.
a few minutes later, kevin emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-863560172002-12-21T01:29:00.000-08:002002-12-21T01:29:45.900-08:00long-ass day. i spent a long time walking and bussing. right after work, i caught the 44 to ballard and walked from 8th and market to 65th and and unspecified cross-street (around 15 blocks all told) to check on kevin's ups stuff, then i just barely missed the 15 and walked along 15th for 20 blocks to just barely make the 75 into northgate. there i picked up mom's christmas gift (besides the one emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-863058922002-12-19T21:39:00.000-08:002002-12-19T21:39:28.100-08:00so... in between kidnapping jana, i have to bus to ballard and back (try THAT alliteration i unsuccessfully avoided) and grab the ups stickies so kevin's stuff doesn't get returned to the sender, cos that'd be lame. i also need to go to northgate mall at some point and get something for mom. i know specifically what, otherwise northgate mall wouldn't exactly be my premiere destination. gee, goingemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-862973682002-12-19T17:54:00.000-08:002002-12-19T17:54:55.506-08:00grades for the quarter: 3.3 in psych, 3.6 in newswriting. not bad, but not fabulous. i could've done better in each, had i really made the effort, but i feel like i was pretty well worked anyway. and i learned stuff. so, really, i may be off the dean's list for good, but hey, i'm feelin' the burn. no pain, no gain, as they say. i'm full of pain.
right now, for instance, i should succumb to some emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-862590632002-12-18T22:47:00.000-08:002002-12-18T22:47:06.880-08:00hi. what's going on?
oh, so, it was just the stupid power supply. $30 and a trip to a store up near shoreline that was open until 8 fixed that, easy as pie. well, and hardware-fearless kevin. i wouldn't touch this stuff on my own, you know.
kevin should be in california now. almost two weeks without the boy who makes me melt. sigh.
i have the keys to his apartment, though, and he wants me to emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-860988642002-12-15T23:54:00.000-08:002002-12-15T23:54:36.573-08:00my computer died this morning. actually, a lot of stuff is up. let me start earlier.
christmas shopping was fairly successful. i picked up a poster for jana that was a photo of ella fitzgerald singing with duke ellington and another jazz dude i forget sitting at a table watching her that just screamed her taste, and she ended up loving it. i also picked up some spritely white flowers in a littleemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-859592762002-12-13T11:51:00.000-08:002002-12-13T11:51:07.686-08:00birthday dinner was cool. thanks to everyone who showed up (and even those who couldn't)! i had fun. my friends are crazy. :)
today i am fucking tired. i need to go christmas shopping after i have some lunch. on my way home, i encountered a woman asking for directions, and it made me kind of go, "oh my god." i don't feel like retyping it from its irc origins, so here you are:
[emily] oh my god.emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-858203752002-12-10T20:16:00.000-08:002002-12-10T20:16:43.663-08:00this week? rules.
so far, i've been bought dinner each night. last night, chris took me to pete's pizza for some deathly delicious calzone. tonight, jenny insisted that my presence at home was a sign that we needed to go to tokyo garden.
tomorrow i'm going out for greek. mmm, greek.
thursday imdb is buying its interns a late lunch for the last day. also at imdb, chris and i did manual labor emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-857696902002-12-09T22:24:00.000-08:002002-12-09T22:24:17.190-08:00ohmyfreakinggodit'salldone.
well. the classes aren't, but the work is. so the easy part is all that's left to come.
my group's presentation today went rather well. the class adviser, or whatever she is, who only comes on presentation days to ask obscure, difficult questions of befuddled presenters, walked in about two minutes into our intro. we were the last group to present. instantly, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-857351962002-12-09T09:30:00.000-08:002002-12-09T09:30:04.803-08:00hmm... i might not get one of those interviews in. argh. i might try to work on this story even after the deadline, just to make it better, talk to more people, etc., and see if there is somewhere that might want to, y'know, buy it.
...
yeah. long shot. until then, i will use what i have to write the story required for my assignment.
so that's all i have left to do. i went through the emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-857009632002-12-08T17:00:00.000-08:002002-12-08T17:00:09.093-08:00having been recently reminded that i do, in fact, have friends, i would like to say hello to them. some of them read this occasionally. so, hi, i love you, i'm sorry i've been so stupid-busy.
also, my birthday is wednesday. i'll finally be 21. let the magic begin. the magic being the ability to go places to see some music and maybe dance a bit. why, i could even imbibe alcohol if i so desired (emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-857005172002-12-08T16:50:00.000-08:002002-12-08T16:52:27.000-08:00ooooooooh, i just had some coffee and it's making me want to write sentences without spaces so you can just HEAR the squealiness evident in the words. it's also making my hands twitchy. i love coffee.
so! i might still be screwed a tiny bit, but i am MOSTLY UNSCREWED as of JUST NOW!!
friday i was killer productive. i found a speech to attend that was actually INTERESTING! about peacemaking emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-855725792002-12-05T19:21:00.000-08:002002-12-05T19:21:39.576-08:00i so want to not be stressed out, but i have a few more days and a shit-ton more work to do.
here's the good news: i conducted a pretty successful interview today for my article about prostate cancer.
here's the bad news: i haven't talked to anyone else yet, and i really need to.
here's more bad news: newswriting prof wouldn't take my attempt at a speech story, saying it defeated the purpose emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-855154632002-12-04T18:41:00.000-08:002002-12-04T18:50:15.000-08:00so the rest of today is as follows:
in class, we discovered that we may have botched our statistics. that would be fucked! fuck.
after class, i made me resolve to call an interview subject. we made an appointment for 11:30 tomorrow at his house in bellevue. then i flipped out because, FUCK!!, how am i getting to bellevue by 11:30 tomorrow when i need to go to class at 10:30? so i called kevin. emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-855123102002-12-04T17:31:00.000-08:002002-12-04T17:31:45.193-08:00fuck, dude. so fucked. i have been freaking out all day and unable to stop swearing.
i was gonna attend this supposed speech this morning on something that is probably way over my head, but when i walked all the way the fuck to where it is (some room in the middle of the labyrinthine health sciences building), the door was closed and said "seminar in progress." shit! seminars are not speeches, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-853475572002-12-01T15:10:00.000-08:002002-12-01T15:10:05.586-08:00i am home home home home and boy do i ever have shit to do.
tampopo was good, by the way.
kevin is also good. he makes me happy.
so. trip to san francisco. it was what it was. thanksgiving break is a giant waste of my time; having basically a waste of a week two weeks before the end of the quarter is a *terrible* idea. yeesh. basically all i was able to accomplish for my mounting debts of emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-850649052002-11-25T10:19:00.000-08:002002-11-25T10:19:40.356-08:00i rented movies last night and hung out with chris for awhile before he left so i could watch my goddamn foreign film PORN. mmf. y tu mama tambien was hot, dude. that was a lot of naked fucking and whatnot. and it was interesting when there was not sex onscreen, too, so that was cool.
speaking of things that get me google hits, why the hell would people searching for "maggie gyllenhall" end up emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-850160642002-11-24T11:11:00.000-08:002002-11-24T11:11:55.286-08:00the past couple days, i have done a whole lot of nothing. really.
i found about four or five contacts at imdb on thursday. when i came home, i convinced chris to meet me for food at pizza brava. ahhh, mushroom calzone. the guy even gave me a free beverage of my choice because i am a student. i did not realize such a policy existed until he asked me if i was a student. being a student is a prettyemilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-848882322002-11-21T13:22:00.000-08:002002-11-21T17:29:09.000-08:00holy crap, did i ever need that shower i just took.
i was away from home for a whole 24 hours, give or take. class yesterday was decent; my group discovered our experiment's results were very statistically significant, which is always a good thing! then work was productive and nothing really weird happened. after work, i caught the 44 and met kevin at ballard market, where we picked out things emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-848057262002-11-19T23:56:00.000-08:002002-11-19T23:56:05.170-08:00today was the good, productive, non-freakout tuesday that last week's should've been. i didn't finish the article that was due today, but that was fine; it wasn't ready; it will be on thursday. i went to class, did what i needed to do, and i'll turn it in then. no problem. i went home, i did laundry, i went to trader joe's and picked up necessities, i ate lunch, i drank coffee, and i caught a emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-847318732002-11-18T15:50:00.000-08:002002-11-18T16:13:07.000-08:00ok! i have time, since i am waiting to hear back from my source for the beat article (due tomorrow, heh!). it's unlikely i will be able to turn it in tomorrow without hacking something out in the morning before class and printing it somewhere random, exciting, and costly. oh joy! oh sorrow! oh pain and love.
speaking of pain, sometimes i hate being a girl. hate. it. (PSST. THAT'S THE CODE FOR emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-847209272002-11-18T11:49:00.000-08:002002-11-18T11:49:54.536-08:00i might actually have something to write about! for my beat story, that is.but maybe not enough time, so... i might still have to turn it in late. woop-de-doo. i am listening to the longest, most repetitive song i own in any format. it amuses me. i don't think i've ever listened to it all the way through because after, oh, 15 minutes i get kind of incredulous and think, "jeez! how much longer is emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-847151372002-11-18T09:43:00.000-08:002002-11-18T09:43:09.670-08:00so...i've been busy, and i kept meaning to write, but i didn't. and i can't now, really. i have a 3-page draft of the introduction to my psych lab final paper due at 12:30 and i've written... none of it. yeah. i am also screwed for my beat story due tomorrow, but hey. that is somewhat less my fault, although not that much less.
so, hi, hello, i am going to go kick my ass now. and eat more emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-845263332002-11-14T06:35:00.000-08:002002-11-14T06:35:25.683-08:00i just registered for winter. hoooo boy, what a thrill that was.
so i'm pretty much fucked out of taking any psych classes i can take or would even remotely want to take next quarter because they're all 400-levels and therefore full. there are a couple 200-levels that might be handy, but they are both daily 8:30s, something i'm not willing to do for the sake of a class i don't actually need emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-843976882002-11-11T19:30:00.000-08:002002-11-11T19:30:11.786-08:00i should write. what to say?
i was in a shittastic mood friday as i left work. i wanted to smash things. i don't know why the fuck i was in such a space. eventually, i calmed down, kevin came over, i cooked dinner, then we went back to his house. he was going to a show i couldn't go to, but i just hung out at his house for the evening. eventually i fell asleep. he woke me up when he came home emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-841802462002-11-07T09:33:00.000-08:002002-11-07T09:33:07.940-08:00so i think i'm depressed again. pretty sure it's a continuation of the feelings from a couple weeks ago, or whenever the fuck that was, and i'm mostly functionally so, but damn if it isn't annoying. i am considering trying to find another counselor, although i was less than satisfied the last time that happened. i know a bit more now and it might work better, but it's also effort and time, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-841028562002-11-05T22:15:00.000-08:002002-11-05T22:15:09.256-08:00what day is today? tuesday?
umm. so i've been busy. after work yesterday, i went to trader joe's and bought some groceries, then i hopped on the 44 westbound and got kevin to pick me up so i didn't have to walk the 12 or so blocks to his house. i brought my happy veggie patties for dinner, which we ate with hummus and pitas. mm. unfortunately, pan frying them set off the stupid smoke detector, emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094791.post-840292782002-11-04T15:50:00.000-08:002002-11-04T15:50:19.353-08:00i feel kinda useless today. not sure why. my thinking is not very clear or deep. i wrote a ton in my break between class and work, which was relatively long since we finished what we needed to do around 1:30, but it was all blathery crap and personal stuff. (yes, because the journal is Not Personal Enough. actually, it's not. there is a lot of stuff i write or think that i sure as hell don't wantemilynoreply@blogger.com